


Severed Connection

by marie72



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, But they really messed up, Hurt Tony DiNozzo, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Conditions, Mild slash, Out of Character Moments, Pre-Slash, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-27 07:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6274423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marie72/pseuds/marie72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "Boxed In" and "Hiatus," Tony Dinozzo is in a bad place emotionally and physically. It's enough to make him think about severing his connection with his NCIS team. At the same time, he starts to reconnect with someone from his past. Can he do it? Can Tony walk away from the team and, more importantly, Gibbs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, 'BOXED IN' happened after 'HIATUS'; the fic is AU and is set around the holidays. ‘La Grenouille’ never happened. I did not like how obsessed Jenny was during that whole storyline. I will play around with the timeline of the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Tony stood and smiled while they all had their ‘good natured fun’ at his expense. He knew that he was guilty of this on occasion as well, but his smile began to falter as the implications of their actions sunk in. They did not want him around. That was pretty obvious as they discussed, in detail, the menu of the previous evening at Ziva’s place.  
  
They all laughed and conversed, totally oblivious to Tony’s increasing despair. He kept his face as neutral as possible as they all finally began to disperse to make their way to their residences. Tony tried to hide his wince as he went to grab his backpack. He got checked out by some EMT’s after being locked in the container with Ziva. Luckily, the wound on his arm was just a graze. But, Tony was actually surprised by how much it hurt. He had some painkillers at home that he was actually considering taking.  
  
“Arm smartin’ there, Dinozzo?” Gibbs asked gruffly as he put on his coat.  
  
“No, Boss. It’s just a flesh wound.” He flashed his million dollar smile, not wanting to show any of his hurt. He quickly left before he would have to be subjected to anymore team bonding stories.  
  
As the elevator descended, Tony’s stomach lurched as he realized that they did not care about him. The last year had been hard. With Gibbs sudden retirement and subsequent reinstatement, Tony had felt off kilter for some time now. He felt his heart was just starting to heal over how he felt betrayed by his Boss, by his teammates. Ziva turned to Gibbs when she was in trouble; he guessed that she did not think Tony could have her six. Abby had pictures of Gibbs plastered all over her lab. He was constantly reminded by the Ziva, Tim, and Abby that he wasn’t Gibbs…don’t act like Gibbs…what would Gibbs do? He wanted to shout from the top of the Pentagon that Gibbs was gone! He quit!  
  
He tried so hard to keep the team together. Gibbs had left a large hole when he left: personally and professionally. But, their close rate hadn’t changed while Gibbs was in Mexico. Tony worked tirelessly to see that did not happen. The only person who even seemed to acknowledge this was Jenny.  
  
If Tony was honest with himself, the only thing at this point that kept him there was the Director. She was surprisingly perceptive when it came to him. She knew he had a difficult time with the way Gibbs left and the team after Gibbs’ departure. He often wondered if she realized how deep his feelings for Gibbs were. As much as he talked to her, he never felt he could tell her how in love with his Boss he was. It was confusing to him as well. Tony had never been attracted to men, but from the first time he met Leroy Jethro Gibbs in Baltimore, he felt like he was hit by lightening. He knew it was a movie cliché, but that is how it felt. At first, he thought he just admired his work ethic and his methods, but as the years went by, he knew it was something more. It hurt when he realized Gibbs did not know the team and him after he was blown up. His leaving left a hole in his heart and sometimes Tony felt he couldn’t breathe. And to deal with that and the treatment from his team was so hard.  
  
So even though he couldn’t reveal everything to the Director, Jenny encouraged him to do his best and she seemed to believe in him. They met frequently and Tony went on a few short lived undercover ops for the agency. He had started hitting his stride when Gibbs’ return changed everything yet again.  
  
With his departure, his ‘You’ll do’ was insulting at best. And when Gibbs returned, there was no thank you…no good job. His belongings were placed haphazardly back upon the desk he occupied before. He was supposed to go on like the previous four months never happened. Abby was rejoicing, Ziva and McGee were acting smugly and smiled every time Gibbs walked in the room. Tony did not expect much, but he felt cast aside like nothing. And that hurt. And to look upon the man he loved…Tony felt ashamed that he loved a man that had treated him with such callousness and disregard. Maybe the problem was him. Maybe he was just pathetic and deserved the treatment he received. He felt so confused.  
  
Tony sighed as he opened his car door and sat for a time in the drivers’ seat, too exhausted to start the engine. He knew at times he could be annoying: his humor, his ribbing of his colleagues, his endless movie references. But they all gave as good as they got, right? Ziva often acted like she was superior because of her Mossad training. McGee thought Tony was some stupid jock from a Midwest state school. But despite all this, he thought of them as a team, a family…the only real family Tony felt like he ever had. But now…especially knowing that they did not want him at the dinner party was almost too much to bear.  
  
TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief mention of mature themes in relation to a case NCIS agents are working on

Gibbs was in his basement sanding the same piece of wood for the last hour. His gut was churning as he thought about Tony. In the bullpen, his Senior Agent was unusually quiet. Often when Tony was injured, he made a point to garner as much sympathy as possible. He craved the attention. But today, he actually said very little. In fact, Gibbs had noticed Tony had been slightly different the last few months; he was more subdued. At first Gibbs felt that he was becoming more serious, perhaps an after effect of being team leader. But now, he wasn’t so sure.  
  
Gibbs knew Tony was checked on scene by the EMT’s after his and Ziva‘s time in the crate, but perhaps he was more injured than first thought. Gibbs picked up his cell and to dial him, but paused when he realized it was nearly midnight. If Tony was sleeping, he needed the rest. He would talk to him in the morning.  
  
*  
  
In the morning, unfortunately, the team became immersed in a crime involving a serial rapist on the marine base. The sick bastard was specifically targeting wives whose husbands were deployed to Iraq. The team worked day in and day out over three weeks, working every lead possible. He attacked five women before they finally caught the perp. It turned out the rapist was a former Marine, dishonorably discharged for having an inappropriate relationship with his CO’s wife.  
  
As horrific as the case was, Tony had honestly welcomed the distraction. If he had joked and teased his teammates less, they hardly noticed. The case was all consuming. He still conversed with them, but mostly relating to the case.  
  
When the case wrapped, Abby had asked if he wanted to grab a bite to eat, but he politely declined. He was exhausted and felt a little under the weather. Ever since the cold storage crate he and Ziva were trapped in, he had developed a slight cough that he couldn’t shake. Luckily he coughed mostly at night, so no one at the office would bug him about it; although they probably wouldn’t care anyway, Tony thought.  
  
Director Sheppard had given them the weekend off, so Tony’s plan was to stay in his apartment and lay on his couch.  
  
*  
  
When the group returned to work, he realized that there were Christmas decorations all over the Navy Yard. The case was so intense that he barely realized that it was the holiday season. Luckily because they had been so busy, he missed the deadline to sign up for secret Santa.  
  
The next ten days went quickly, despite the fact that they worked cold cases for most of the time. As Christmas neared, Tony tried to block out the joyful chatter around the office. Tony dreaded the holiday season. It only served to highlight that he had no real family of his own. His father had sent him to boarding school at age twelve. Senior officially disinherited him after his last year of high school when Tony turned down several Ivy League universities to go to Ohio State. The hurt he felt over the abandonment was something Tony is never sure he can overcome.  
  
Over the last few years, though, his father had attempted to contact him. First through his assistant; and then the last few times, his father had actually called his apartment. His messages sounded oddly sincere, that he would like to talk to him. But, Tony was still suspicious of his motives. Why after all these years? Tony couldn’t open himself up to more hurt. He just couldn’t. Look what happened here in DC? He thought he found people that genuinely liked him, maybe even cared deeply for him, but he had been dead wrong.  
  
Tony sighed as he made his way down to Abby’s lab to deliver a file to her. Despite her love of hard metal rock, Abby was listening to Christmas music as she danced around the lab in her Goth version of a Mrs. Claus outfit.  
  
“Tony!” Abby exclaimed. “Can you believe that we are actually off for Christmas?!”  
  
Tony tried to match her enthusiasm. “Yeah. It’s great!” Tony forced the words around the lump in his throat.  
  
“What are you doing this year?” Abby giggled.  
  
“Oh, the usual, Abbs,” he answered hoping that she wouldn’t ask for details.  
  
She was so oblivious to his despair and was so excited, she barely registered his response. “I can’t wait to get home to New Orleans! My parents are so stoked that I’m actually coming home this year. And my best friend is flying down too! Can you believe it?”  
  
“That’s great, Abbs.” Tony said softly. “When are you leaving?”  
  
She looked at her watch. “I’m on the 9 pm flight tonight. I’m all packed and I figured if Gibbs had any last minute things for me to analyze, I could get it done for the Bossman.”  
  
Tony handed her the file folder. “He wanted me to give you these.”  
  
“Cool, Tony-boy.” She smiled at her friend.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Abby.” He forced himself to smile as she hugged him again. Abby did not notice that Tony stiffened slightly at the contact. “Have a good trip.” He quickly left the lab and as he ascended in the elevator, he was struck with a severe coughing fit that almost took him down to his knees. He grabbed the railing to try and steady himself when he had to catch his breath. He hit the stop button to give himself a chance to recover. It took him a few minutes and when he finally stepped from the elevator, he took a slow deep breath and went to find some hot tea. He suddenly felt very cold.  
  
*  
  
McGee powered down his computer as he stood and smiled. He couldn’t believe that they had the next five days off. “You ready, Ziva?” He asked his partner who was gathering her things.  
  
“Yes, McGee. And thank you for driving me to the airport. I did not want to leave my car there over the holiday.”  
  
“It’s no problem. I’m headed home to Virginia after I drop you off.” He sighed happily as he thought of home. “I can’t wait to eat my mom’s peach cobbler,” he said as he walked to Ziva’s desk.  
  
“I too cannot wait to get home as well.” She grabbed her things. “Ready?” McGee nodded and the two made their way to the elevator.  
  
*  
  
Gibbs left the Director’s office and made his way to the bullpen. He opened his drawer and grabbed his gun, badge, and his keys. When he then looked around, he noticed how quiet the area was. He looked over to Tony’s desk and saw that it had been straightened up. He was hoping to catch him before he left. He had wanted to talk to Tony about a few things, but never seemed to catch the right time.  
  
He looked at his watch. He wanted to hit the road so he could make it to Stillwater in good time. As much as Gibbs loved his work, he was looking forward to spending a quiet holiday with his dad. Since they had reconciled four years ago, he had spent every Christmas with his father either in Stillwater or his dad would come to D.C. Last year was difficult, after his coma, when old feelings rose to the surface again. Gibbs thought he had just had the funeral for his beloved wife and daughter. The issues that caused the estrangement with Jackson were again fresh in his mind. But, when his memories recovered, Jethro knew that he and Jack had forged a new relationship and they moved on. He smiled slightly as he made his way to his car. He would talk to Tony when he returned. He did not realize Tony’s bag was tucked away in the corner and that he had not left the building.  
  
*  
  
The few sips of piping hot tea had soothed the urge to cough at least momentarily. Tony made his way back to the bullpen. He figured he should at least wish his team a happy holiday before he left. When he arrived at his desk, he looked around and his stomach sank slightly. The bullpen was empty. They had already left. He grabbed his gear and looked around the area as his eyes watered. He walked slowly to the elevator, and as its doors closed, he whispered, “Merry Christmas” to no one.  
  
TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback so far! It is appreciated.

Tony spent the first two days of his break holed up in his apartment. He watched DVD’s and ate takeout. His cough was worsening as well as his breathing. A few times, he used his rescue inhaler that he needed intermittently since his bout with the Plague. He briefly considered calling Dr. Pitt, but he did not want to bother him during the holidays. Tony decided that if he still had the cough when he returned to work, that he would talk to Ducky and Brad.   
  
He showered and dressed the morning of Christmas Eve. He felt like he was suffocating being cooped up in his apartment. He needed fresh air and he did have an errand to run. As he shut his door, he felt a slight wave of dizziness and breathlessness overcame him. He grabbed the wall to steady himself as a sheen of sweat appeared on his brow. He felt hot for a moment and stood there until he felt better. When the dizziness dissipated, he grabbed the bag he dropped and slowly made his way to his car.  
  
*  
  
Tony arrived at the Navy Yard twenty minutes later. He had a delivery to make and he wanted to get some work done. When the bullpen was quiet, it was the ideal time to catch up on paperwork.   
  
He walked towards the security gate and smiled when he saw a familiar face. “Hey, Charlie.” Tony greeted.  
  
“Tony!” The man responded. He was an older gentleman in his late sixties. He was former military and now worked security for the Yard. “Merry Christmas, kid.” Tony always smiled when he called him that.  
  
“You know, Charlie,” Tony answered with a twinkle in his eye, “I am thirty-three you know. I’m hardly a kid.” He smirked. “I am a seasoned senior field agent.”  
  
“Ah…compared to my old bones, you’re still a kid.” He gestured for him to sit down behind the security desk.  
  
“You could still kick my ass though.” Tony added as he handed Charlie the bag he was carrying.  
  
“That is true, kid.” Charlie smiled as he opened the gift bag. “You spoil me with these chocolates, Tony.”  
  
“Merry Christmas.” The agent grinned widely. “This year it’s dark chocolate.”  
  
“Yum. I’ll have to do extra sit ups.” He walked back towards a room. “Coffee?”  
  
“Sure. Cream and sugar, thanks.” Tony responded as he sat down heavily. Charlie returned a few minutes later with the beverage and his own gift bag.  
  
“Charlie, you know you didn’t have to…” Tony blushed slightly. He was never good about receiving gifts.  
  
“Hush, and open it.” He commanded.  
  
“Anyone ever tell you that marines are pushy?” He said jokingly as he opened the bag. “North by Northwest? Classic Hitchcock!” He said enthusiastically as he turned the DVD over. “I don’t have this one. Thanks a bunch…” Tony felt a tickle in his throat before he could finish. He went into a violent coughing fit. He dropped the film as he grabbed onto his chair to keep himself upright. It took him a minute to recover.   
  
“You okay, Tony?” Charlie asked in a worried tone as he watched Tony sip at his coffee. He handed the film back to Tony. “Maybe you should get checked out or something.”   
  
Tony shook his head and then answered in a raspy voice. “I’m okay. It’s just a little cough.” He took a few deep breaths.  
  
“Doesn’t seem little to me, kid.” He looked worriedly upon Tony. “Go back home. Rest. Maybe call your teammates. I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to be sick with your history.”  
  
“They’re all with their families.” Tony answered somberly, trying to hide the jealously in his voice. “Anyway, it’s just a cold. It’ll go away soon.” The senior agent gave him a weak smile.  
  
“I don’t know, Tony. You should call Gibbs. Maybe you should spend the holiday with someone from your team. They could keep an eye on ya.”  
  
Tony was silent but shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t often reveal his feelings, but Charlie was different. He never seemed to judge him; he was kind and they had become friends. They had been exchanging gifts for the last four years at Christmas time.   
  
“I don’t want to bug them and honestly, I’m not sure they’d care anyway.” Tony looked down at his coffee cup.  
  
“What do you mean? You’re team always seemed pretty tight.”  
  
“It’s just…” He hesitated, afraid of sounding petty. “It sounds so high school, I know, but one of my teammates had this party recently and invited everyone but me. And they all kind of rubbed it in my face, you know?”  
  
Charlie put his hand on Tony’s shoulder, “Hey. I’m sorry, Tony. That’s pretty rotten.”  
  
Tony shrugged his shoulders again and stood. “Anyway, forget I said anything. Just call me Scrooge. Bah humbug!” Tony tried to joke. “Thanks for the DVD, Charlie. It was awful nice of you.” Tony smiled warmly. “I’m going to get some work done.”   
  
Charlie stared at his young friend for a time. Tony was a stubborn one. “Take care of yourself, kid. Don’t work too hard.” He patted his shoulder. “I can’t wait to eat the chocolates. Maybe one day you’ll tell me where you get ’em.”  
  
Tony smirked. “Not a chance. Where would the fun be in that?” Tony grabbed his gun and badge, waved goodbye, and headed slowly towards the bullpen.  
  
TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

McGee was removing his gun and holster at the security gate as he sighed internally. Christmas was over yesterday and they still had today off, but he had a lot of paperwork he needed to get to. He decided to come today so he could have the tranquility of a quiet bullpen in order to complete a few tasks.  
  
“McGee.” He heard a gruff voice behind him.   
  
“Boss.” He smiled as he turned to greet him. “How was Stillwater?”  
  
“Good.” Gibbs answered curtly. “You?”  
  
“Home was great. It was nice to see my family.” He turned back towards the security guard as he walked through the gate. “Merry Christmas, Charlie.”  
  
Charlie nodded. “You too, Agent McGee. Agent Gibbs.” As both men began to walk away, Charlie spoke up again. “Agent McGee, Agent Gibbs!” He lightly jogged up the hall to catch them.   
  
Gibbs looked at him with curiosity as he faced him.  
  
“I wanted to see how Agent Dinozzo was doing.” Charlie asked.  
  
“Doing?” McGee looked at his boss with confusion clouding his eyes. Charlie looked at both men, knowing they had no idea that Tony had been here for the holidays. He knew Tony would kill him, but right now, he didn’t care.  
  
“Tony was here for Christmas; like he is for every holiday.” The former marine looked at Gibbs pointedly.   
  
“And you know this how?” Gibbs stepped closer to Charlie.  
  
“Kid brings me chocolates every Christmas Eve when he comes to the Yard. Ever since my Emily died, I work the holidays. It’s less lonely that way.” He smiled sadly. “One day I’m going to have Tony tell me where he gets those chocolates.” He paused. “Anyway, the kid seemed real sick the other day. He stayed upstairs for a few hours and then went home.” He looked at both men. “I told him to call a doctor or maybe call his team, but he didn’t seem too keen on that.”  
  
“Why is that?” Gibbs said tightly, reacting to the accusatory tone in the guard’s voice.   
  
“I believe his words were that his team wouldn’t care and that they don’t really want him around. He mentioned something about not being invited to a party.”  
  
McGee looked at Gibbs, who had turned away. That was it. Gibbs said to himself as he felt guilt traverse through him. He knew something was going on with Tony and he kept putting it off, hoping that it would work itself out.   
  
Gibbs looked at Charlie and nodded slightly. “We’ll look in on him. Thanks, Charlie.” He walked away with McGee trailing behind him. When Tim opened his mouth to talk, Gibbs responded. “Not now, McGee.” He pressed the button once inside the elevator and they exited to the quiet bullpen.   
  
Gibbs glanced at Tony’s desk. There was no indication anyone had been in the area during the holiday. When he dropped his things into his drawer and took off his coat, he looked at Tim. “Pull up the surveillance tapes from Christmas Eve.” He said quietly as he went to stand in front of the plasma. After a few minutes, McGee had found the footage that showed Tony in the office on the day before Christmas. He fast forwarded the silent footage. He saw him working, watching movies, playing video games, and something that worried him most of all. Many times, Tony was doubled over coughing. Even without sound, the footage was painful to watch.  
  
Gibbs was deep in thought for a moment. “Show me Thanksgiving.”  
  
*  
  
They spent about thirty minutes going through two years of security footage and found that for every major holiday they were not working, at some point, Tony was at the office. Part of Gibbs wanted to be furious with Tony, his first reaction when he felt he had been mislead. But, in his heart, he knew how he had let Tony down. There were many holidays for years that Gibbs was alone. If he was between wives or before he reconciled with his father, the pain and loneliness of spending holidays without Shannon and Kelly were difficult to take. He often worked or occasionally met with some of his marine buddies for drinks.  
  
He tried to recall anytime in the years Dinozzo had worked for NCIS that he inquired about Tony’s plans for his time off. He knew McGee, Ziva, Abby, Ducky, and even Palmer had family support outside of work. He would hear his team discussing their plans and a few times, he heard Tony say that he was going to do his usual. As his stomach sank again, he realized that Tony didn’t lie, he just never elaborated. And Leroy Jethro Gibbs just assumed that he was fine. If McGee wasn’t in the room he would have head slapped himself.   
  
He thought about how much he enjoyed having Tony on his team. He was a fantastic agent, albeit a little obnoxious; but, that was part of his charm. He wasn’t purely the fun loving, skirt chasing jock that he made himself out to be. Underneath, he saw an intelligent, kind, considerate, slightly vulnerable man. Gibbs knew Tony looked up to him, trying to gain his approval. He knew that an attaboy put a smile on Tony’s face that rivaled any smile.   
  
Gibbs could acknowledge that because of Tony, he had chuckled and grinned more in the last six years than since his family was murdered. He cared about Tony a lot. Probably more than he has been willing to admit. Subconsciously, he thinks that he sometimes kept Dinozzo at arms length. He started filling up that empty void in his heart, the emptiness that had been there since losing his beautiful girls.   
  
Reconciling with his father had helped. Despite how pigheaded his Dad was, Jethro had missed him greatly. And now that they were close again, the permanent pain in his heart had lessened. Tony contributed as well, but Jethro perhaps had been unwilling to admit it. For the first few years he worked with Dinozzo, he knew Tony needed a strong mentor figure and he was happy to oblige. But Gibbs' feelings had long turned, though. When he awoke from his coma, the pain of his loss was immense. And as he sat on the beach in Mexico, and as his memories returned, he knew his feelings for Tony went beyond just teammates. He just was never sure what to do about it. And now knowing what Charlie had told them and the horrible loneliness that Tony had endured, he could only hope that Tony would forgive him.  
  
“McGee, try Dinozzo on his cell.”  
  
McGee hesitated. Gibbs knew he wanted to talk first, but he was not ready. He just needed to see if Tony was okay. “On it, Boss.” Tim answered as he picked up his phone. “No answer.” He said after a little time. “I’ll try his home.” He got the answering machine. He looked at his boss.  
  
“Grab your things. We’ll go to his apartment.”  
  
*  
  
McGee held on for dear life as Gibbs navigated through the streets of DC on the way to Tony’s apartment. Tim had tried to engage his Boss in a conversation about Tony, but Gibbs was staying silent. Tim was wracking his brain thinking how Tony would actually think that they didn’t care about him. And with Ziva’s party, Tim had assumed Tony was busy. He made a mental note to talk to Ziva, if he survived the car ride with Gibbs.  
  
The two agents made their way into Dinozzo’s building. Gibbs knocked on Tony’s door. He waited a moment and when he became impatient he took out his keys and started opening the door. He heard a voice behind him.  
  
“Excuse me?” Gibbs turned to see a couple whom appeared to be in their late thirties. The woman continued. “That is Agent Dinozzo’s apartment.”  
  
Gibbs wanted to be annoyed, but he tried to stay civil. He brought out his badge. “Agent Gibbs and McGee.”  
  
The woman smiled. “Oh. Agent Gibbs. I think Tony has mentioned you before.”  
  
The couple looked at each other and relaxed. The man spoke. “Sorry. We thought you were breaking into his apartment. And since he’s in the hospital, we thought…”  
  
He was cut off by McGee, “He’s what?!” His eyes widened as he looked at the couple.  
  
“You didn’t know?” The woman asked.  
  
As embarrassed as Jethro was to admit it, he reluctantly shook his head. “The whole team just returned from holiday break, Ma‘am. We were trying to get hold of Tony.”  
  
The husband answered. “He was taken by ambulance to Bethesda on Christmas.” With those words Jethro began to sprint back towards his car. McGee looked at the couple and said a quick, “Thank you for the information,” and ran after his Boss.  
  
*  
  
Upon arrival to Bethesda, Gibbs and McGee walked briskly towards patient information. “Anthony Dinozzo.” Gibbs said quickly.   
  
The volunteer punched his name into a computer and after a moment looked up. “Room 528.”  
  
Gibbs nodded his thanks and then made their way towards the elevator. The ride up was tense. McGee knew Gibbs was worried and appeared a little pissed. He continued his silence. Tim knew better than to force Gibbs to talk. At this point, he just wanted Tony to be okay. As they stepped off the elevator, the two agents looked to the numbers on the wall to guide them to the room. As they walked past the nurse's station, they saw a familiar face.  
  
“Dr. Pitt.” Gibbs said as he saw the man whom helped Tony get through the plague.  
  
“Agent Gibbs. Agent McGee.”   
  
“What the hell is going on with my agent? Why was I not contacted when Tony was admitted?” Gibbs said gruffly at the doctor as his eyes narrowed in a slightly threatening manner.  
  
Pitt stood tall, clearly not intimidated by the former Marine. “Tony asked that no one be contacted.” He answered curtly.  
  
“What?” Gibbs said in almost an exasperated tone. What was going on here? He thought to himself.  
  
“He said that everyone was on Christmas break and that he didn’t want to ruin it.”  
  
Gibbs took a deep breath. He clearly had to have a talk with Tony. “Fine. I’ll just see him now.”  
  
“Actually, Agent Gibbs, Tony requested no visitors unless his condition changed. If that happened, I am to contact his medical proxy and/or his emergency contact.” Brad paused. “And Tony is not improving so I called Dr. Mallard as his proxy and Director Shepard as his emergency contact. They should be here momentarily.”   
  
Gibbs felt like he had been punched in the gut hard. After talking to the security guard earlier, he knew perhaps things were tenuous between him and Tony, but now…he had never realized the damage he had done. He needed to talk to his senior agent. Right now, he felt he had no words; but he needed to try. “I want to see him.” Gibbs walked towards Pitt.  
  
“If Director Shepard or Dr. Mallard gives their consent, then by all means you may.”  
  
“Brad, for God sakes!” Gibbs practically growled as he glared at the doctor.  
  
“Gibbs, I am Tony’s doctor and his friend. If he said no visitors then he had a damn good reason to feel that way. This is my turf, not one of your investigations. So, you do it my way, or I’ll call security and have you escorted out of the hospital.” Dr. Pitt ignored the infamous Gibbs glare and walked away to go tend to his patient.  
  
TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

McGee, Gibbs, Ducky and Jenny sat in the family waiting area. The team leader was on his second cup of coffee. En route to the hospital, Ducky had called him to inform him of Dr. Pitts’ call. Jethro had told his friend he was already at the hospital but had no information yet. Jenny came soon after Ducky and even though she knew Tony may be angry, she wanted Jethro to hear about his condition. They were waiting for the doctors to talk to them. Gibbs got up to stretch and then turned to Tim. “Why don’t you go get something to eat and call Ziva and Abby.”   
  
McGee did not argue. “Sure, Boss.” He knew Gibbs wanted to get rid of him for a bit, so he nodded and left. As much as Gibbs wanted to scream and shout, at the moment, he just wanted to know what was wrong with Tony.   
  
Dr. Pitt walked in a few minutes later, followed by another physician. “Dr. Mallard, I am sorry to see you again under these circumstances.” Dr. Pitt shook the older gentleman’s hand.   
  
“Yes, indeed, Dr. Pitt. Our poor Anthony seems to gravitate towards these hallowed halls too often.”  
  
He nodded his head and turned to Jenny. “Director Shepard, as you know I am an infectious disease specialist.”   
  
“It is nice to finally meet you.” Jenny answered. “Tony has mentioned you.”  
  
He then pointed to his colleague. “This is Dr. Eloise Reynolds. She is a pulmonary or lung specialist.” He directed everyone to sit at a table. “Dr. Reynolds, this is Dr. Mallard, Tony’s personal physician, and Director Shepard and Agent Gibbs. They are Tony’s superiors.”  
  
“Hello, everyone. Dr. Pitt informed me that you are his support system and that I may discuss his medical condition with you.” The doctor began. “I was brought in to consult on Agent Dinozzo because he came in with a fairly significant right sided pneumonia. He informed us that he had been feeling increasingly ill for approximately four to five weeks prior to his arrival on Christmas.”  
  
Jethro sat stunned at that revelation and then realized, “He was trapped in a cargo container at the docks about six weeks ago.” He couldn’t believe he had not noticed that Tony was feeling sick. He knew something was wrong, but he never pushed.  
  
“Outside?” Dr. Reynolds asked.  
  
“Yes.” Gibbs answered. “For about 5 to 6 hours. It was probably about 40-45 degrees that day.”  
  
“And with his past history,” Ducky interjected, “an ideal set up for pneumonia.” He turned to the lung specialist. “How severe is the infiltrate?”  
  
“A little over 50% of his right lung was affected on xray.” Jenny gasped slightly as the doctor continued. “We started him on two broad spectrum IV antibiotics and some IV steroids. We have not seen the rapid improvement I was hoping to see.”  
  
Gibbs asked, “How is he right now?”  
  
“He is on oxygen and receiving his medications and I added in some breathing treatments. His breathing is becoming increasingly labored. Because of this, he is getting a CT Scan of the chest as we speak and we will know further information after the results.”   
  
“So, Doctor, he is breathing on his own right now?” Jenny asked.   
  
The doctor nodded. “Yes, but if the pneumonia worsens, he may need to be moved to the ICU.” She looked at the group. “With his past history of The Plague, any infection in Tony’s lungs can be very serious. We may need to intervene more aggressively if he does not improve.”  
  
“What about sampling the pneumonia from his chest?” Ducky asked.  
  
“That is a definite possibility.” Pitt answered. “We need to see the Chest CT first.” He paused. “We will know more after those results. Do you have any other questions?”  
  
“Can we see him?” Jenny asked, concern all over her face.  
  
“As soon as he is settled back in after his trip to radiology, then you can. Only one at a time, though.” Dr. Pitt answered and smiled sadly at the group. “Tony survived the Plague. He’s a fighter.” He walked out with Dr. Reynolds.  
  
*  
  
Jenny walked into Tony’s room quietly. She was stunned at how frail and pale Tony looked. He lay on his hospital bed so quietly; the only sound in the room was his rattled, rapid breathing. He had a cannula in his nose providing oxygen. His lips looked ashen, the normal healthy glow of his skin was gone for the moment.  
  
She pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat down. “Tony?” She began gently.   
  
His eyes fluttered open as the senior agent turned to the voice. He managed to smile weakly when he saw who it was. He gazed upon the woman who was like an older sister/maternal like figure for him. He felt comforted that she was there. “Jenny…” His voice was raspy as he concentrated to speak.  
  
She stroked his fevered brow. “I should pull a Gibbs and head slap you into next week for not letting them call me.” Her voice held no ire, her tone was gentle.   
  
“Didn’t…want…to…bother…’s Christmas…” Tony forced out, it was obviously difficult to speak with the pneumonia that had settled in his lungs.  
  
She placed her palm on his face and was pleased when Tony turned into the comfort a bit. “You are never a bother.” She smiled sadly. “You are important, Tony. Don’t you ever forget that.” She paused when Tony’s eyes watered. She gazed upon her agent, who at this time appeared to be a scared little boy.  
  
His voice slurred as he whispered, “Don’ feel so good…”   
  
“I know, Tony.” She responded, surprised by Tony’s candor. She knew normally Tony would try to downplay the illness. The gravity of his situation hit home to her with his admission. “Dr. Pitt is working hard to get you better.” She was silent for a time and then began again. She was not sure of his reaction. “Tony, we are all so worried about you. Me, Ducky…Gibbs. Jethro wants to see you.”  
  
Tony’s eyes flew open at the mention of his team leader. “G-Gibbs.” His breath hitched as he shook his head weakly. “Doesn’t…care…anymore…”  
  
“He does, Tony. He is so worried. He wants to make you sure you are alright.” She paused. “Can he come see you?”  
  
Tony did not answer for a time. He shrugged his shoulders and turned away to try to lie on his side. With a last encouraging squeeze of his hand, Jenny stood up and walked back to the waiting area. Jethro practically sprinted to her as she walked in.  
  
“How is he?” He stopped himself from asking more when he saw the sad look on Jenny’s face.   
  
“Jethro…” She took a deep a breath. “He looks awful. I think he’s scared.”  
  
“Jen. I’ve got to see him.” She nodded and he began to walk towards his senior agent’s room; he halted when Jenny spoke again.   
  
“He thinks you don’t care about him, Jethro.” She watched as the lead agent clenched his teeth as he closed his eyes. “He’s hurt over a lot of things that happened when you left; how the team acted when you were gone.” She paused to let her words sink in. “Don’t be hard on him.”  
  
Gibbs stepped toward the Director. “You think I’d do that?” He shook his head. “I just need to see him. I need to make things right.”   
  
Jenny could see the sincerity in her former partner’s eyes. “Go on,” she said as she made her way back to Ducky.  
  
*  
  
Gibbs stepped into Tony’s room. He was taken aback by his appearance. He was amazed how Tony deteriorated so quickly in the four days since he had seen him last. He took the chair by the bed. He watched Tony for a bit as he gathered his thoughts. How was he going to make it up to the younger man? Where to begin? He leaned forward, not sure if Tony was sleeping or not. The senior agents’ back was to him. “Tony?” He said softly. He waited patiently to see how Tony would respond. His heart jumped when he watched the ill man turn back towards him. It must have taken lot of strength because Tony’s breathing sped up as he tried to get comfortable facing his Boss. His heart clenched as he saw wariness in Tony’s eyes as he watched him. The two stared at each other for a time before Gibbs finally found his voice.  
  
“Tony? I’m going to break one of my rules.” Gibbs paused. “But you’re worth it.” Gibbs tried to smile. “Rule Number Six. Never say you’re sorry. I’m sorry, Tony. I’m sorry for the way things have been since I left and came back. I’m sorry for the things I know about and I’m sorry for the things that you will tell me when you get better. When you’re out of here, we’ll have a nice long talk. Okay?” Gibbs voice shook slightly. “I’m here for you. I want to be here for you. Is that okay?”  
  
Tony said nothing as Gibbs’ words settled through him. Had the Almighty Gibbs just apologized? To him? He wasn’t sure he was hearing things correctly. His Boss looked sincere. He wanted so much to believe him but he was scared and still hurt by the team‘s actions. He felt awful and was not sure what was going on. But if Gibbs was here, he’d help. Right? Could he trust him? Should he? Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to see the older man. Right now, he was so confused.   
  
Tony wheezed as a coughing fit took over. He struggled to get air as Gibbs helped him sit up. He pounded on Tony’s back until the fit ended. Tony was draped over Jethro’s shoulder as the older man now gently rubbed circles on Tony’s back. He was worried as he felt how hot and sweaty Tony’s whole body felt against his. Gibbs managed to find the control to the bed and elevated the head of the bed to a more comfortable position. Finally after that, he was able to lower Tony back down onto the bed.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, Tony.” He said quietly as he wiped the tears that had fallen from Tony’s hazel eyes as he struggled through his coughing. He worried as Tony had said nothing to him as of yet. Guilt coursed through Gibbs as he swept some hair away from Tony’s brow. “We’ll talk about everything when you’re better.” Tony closed his eyes.  
  
“Don’ feel good…”   
  
“Brad said it was pneumonia. They’ll know more after your CT Scan results.” Gibbs added.  
  
“Not…plague…?” Tony responded. “Can’t…blue lights…blue lights…” Tony’s voice rose as he flashed back to his previous nightmare.  
  
Gibbs leaned in and stroked Tony’s face to calm his agent. “It’s not the Plague, Tony. I promise you.” He said in a reassuring tone to calm his increasingly distressed agent.  
  
“Can’t…again…Kate’s not here…Katie…” Tony said with longing.  
  
“You don’t need to be under the lights again, Tony. It’s okay.” Gibbs voice broke as he remembered how brave both Tony and Kate were.  
  
“Miss her…she was…my friend…” Tony whispered as he calmed down and turned his back towards Gibbs. His eyes fluttered as he fought sleep.  
  
Gibbs felt sick to his stomach that Tony was feeling so alone. What had they done? He placed his hand on his Agent's shoulder, trying to offer some support. “Rest now, Tony. I’ve got your six.”   
  
  
TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated.

Tony fell into a fitful sleep. After some time, Jenny peaked back into the room and gestured for Jethro to exit. “The doctor wants to talk to us again.” She said in a tense voice. Gibbs nodded and followed her back to the waiting room.  
  
Ducky stood with Drs. Pitt and Reynolds. The female physician spoke first. “We have the results of Tony’s scan.” She paused. “It is more serious than appeared on his chest xray. Agent Dinozzo has an empyema, which is a collection of pus in the lungs. He started with pneumonia and it has progressed to this.”  
  
Jenny swallowed heavily. “Is it fatal?”  
  
Dr. Pitt answered. “I am going to be frank, it is very serious. When empyema complicates pneumonia, the risk of permanent lung damage and death goes up.”  
  
Ducky spoke. “And because he has residual scarring from Y. Pestis…”  
  
Gibbs shook his head. “What are we going to do about it?” He asked in a serious tone; he did not want to hear about the possibility that Tony could die, he wanted solutions.  
  
“I have already consulted a surgeon, a Dr. Anson. After discussing the case with him, he believes the best option is to take him to the operating room and drain the fluid. After that, they will place chest tubes to allow for drainage for the rest of the fluids.” Pitt turned to Ducky. “Ducky, as his doctor and medical proxy, Dr. Anson will need your consent to do this. Tony is in no shape to understand what is going on right now.”  
  
Ducky’s face was serious. “Yes, of course. A thoracotomy is the next appropriate step.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Where do I sign?” He said with conviction. He ignored the looks from Gibbs and Shepard for the moment. He knew they wanted more information, but they did not understand that time was of the essence. If they were taking Tony to surgery in the evening, the results from the CT must have been extensive. He would fill them in later.  
  
Dr. Pitt nodded his head. “Dr. Anson is currently examining Tony and then he will talk to you prior to taking him to the OR.”  
  
“Can we see Tony before the operation?” Jenny asked.   
  
Brad replied. “Anesthesiology will need to so their assessment and then more than likely they will move him quickly to the operating suites. When he is in recovery and moves to the ICU, then you will be able to see him.”  
  
“ICU?” Gibbs asked as his heart beat wildly.  
  
Dr. Reynolds responded. “Agent Gibbs, with the amount of infection in his lungs, it is highly likely that we will need to continue mechanical ventilation post operatively for Agent Dinozzo.”  
  
“Mechanical meaning…breathing machine?” Jenny interjected in a worried tone.  
  
“Yes, he will have a breathing tube placed for the operation. If they are able to extubate prior to moving him into recovery, then they will. Regardless of the scenario, the safest place for Agent Dinozzo post op will be the ICU.” She nodded and excused herself to consult with the surgeon.  
  
*  
  
Ducky and Jethro were in the surgery waiting room two hours later waiting for a word on Tony’s condition. Jenny had to leave for an emergency call with Sec Nav. She had promised she would try to keep the team off rotation for at least the next few days.  
  
After finishing his third cup of coffee, Gibbs looked up to see McGee, Ziva, and Abby rushing in.  
  
“Oh my gosh, Gibbs!” Abby said with watery eyes as she hugged the Lead Agent. “What happened to Tony? He seemed fine before we all left.”  
  
“He has a lung infection, Abs.” Gibbs responded in a quiet tone.   
  
Ziva chimed in as she noticed the worn expressions on Ducky and Gibbs’ face. “It is serious, yes?”   
  
“Unfortunately it is, Ziva.” Ducky responded.  
  
“Is he going to be okay?” Tim asked.   
  
Gibbs sighed and answered honestly. “They don’t know.”  
  
“Why didn’t he call us?” Abby asked. “I could just hit him for that!” She said as she looked at the group. No one answered for a time.  
  
Tim spoke up eventually, regret lacing his words. “Did you guys know that Tony spends all his holidays here alone? He didn’t call us because he told Charlie we didn’t care. He had told him about the dinner party he wasn’t invited to.”   
  
Abby gasped. “Alone? He always says he is doing the usual.” Her eyes watered. “We never asked him.” She said as she was trying not to sob. She turned to Ziva. “I thought he was busy for your party, Ziva. That’s why I thought Tony wasn’t there.” Her eyes narrowed. “Right?”  
  
Ziva at least looked ashamed and her voice shook slightly when she spoke. “No, I did not invite him.”  
  
“Why not?” Abby face reddened.   
  
“I…I just wanted a quiet, more adult evening. I thought he would spend the time cracking jokes and all those things!”   
  
Abby’s heart sank. “The way we teased him about not being there and how good the food was!” Tears rolled down her face.   
  
Gibbs stared for a moment at the Mossad officer. On the one hand he wanted to throttle her, but he knew the dinner party was just the tip of the iceberg. He would deal with her later. He looked at his agents and his forensic specialist. “Jenny did not give me any details, but this goes way beyond a dinner party. It has to do with how I left and what happened while I was gone. And when Tony is able to, I hope he will be able to talk about it with me. I’ve played my role, as have us all. The reason he did not call _ANY_ of us is because we let him down.” Gibbs stood up and walked down the hall. He needed fresh air.   
  
*  
  
After his spending time in the recovery room post surgery, Tony was moved to the ICU. Dr. Anson updated Ducky and Gibbs. The team leader had sent the others home after it appeared the surgery would take some time. Jenny was still taking care of NCIS business, so Ducky informed the ICU staff that Gibbs could be added to the very limited visitor list.   
  
Gibbs was now at Tony’s bedside. He was heavily sedated and had been unable to be weaned off the ventilator after the surgery. Dr. Anson and Brad both thought it was for the best to give Tony’s lungs a chance to rest.   
  
Gibbs sat by his agent’s bed and grasped his still hand. The only sound in the room was the beeping of the heart monitor and the hiss of the breathing machine. His chest rose and fell according to the machine. His once beautifully tanned face was as pale as the stark white sheets of his hospital bed. He looked impossibly young and vulnerable as he lay there depending on the machines to keep him alive.  
  
Gibbs’ eyes watered as he spoke. “Please, Tony…I…I need you.” He whispered. “You have to get better…I need to tell you so many things…” He leaned forward and pressed Tony’s hand against his forehead. He stayed in that position until he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Jethro.” Ducky said. “We must go now.”  
  
“Why?”   
  
“Since we are not technically family we have to respect visiting hour policies; they allowed us to disregard them thus far, despite the late hour.”  
  
“But, we’re his family, Duck.”  
  
The ME smiled sadly. “Regardless, my friend, we shall obey hospital policy.” He said in a gentle tone, but with some finality. He watched as Jethro stood and kissed the top of Tony’s head. He whispered something to the younger agent and then walked out of the room. Ducky nodded at the nurse and followed the Lead Agent.  
  
TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last update for a week or so. Thank you for the reviews thus far. I appreciate the feedback.

Tony spent over one week on the ventilator. His residual scarring from his bout with the plague complicated his course in the ICU.  
  
The doctors had removed the breathing tube two days ago. Ducky, Jenny, and Jethro were elated at the news. Tony, although breathing on his own, still seemed quite sedated. He was not acutely aware of his surroundings yet. The three took turns and tried to be at Tony’s side as much as possible. Even though Jenny had tried to keep them off rotation, duty did call.  
  
*  
  
After another exhaustive evening meeting with Sec Nav, Jenny sat by Tony’s bed. She was reading reports when she heard him groan slightly. She placed down her materials and turned to the Senior Agent. “Tony?”  
  
His eyes fluttered open as he felt a pain in his right side. He weakly tried to grasp at the offending agent but was stopped by a gentle hand.  
  
“Tony. Try not to grab at your chest tubes.”  
  
“Hurts…” Tony whispered as Jenny placed his hand back at his side.  
  
“It’s okay. Let me get the nurse to give you something for pain. She’s right outside.”  
  
“No!” Tony tried to grasp her hand. “Don’t leave.” His voice was shaky.  
  
“Okay, I’m not leaving, Tony.” She tried to reassure him. “I’ll use the call button.” She reached over and pressed.  
  
Almost right away, the door opened and Tony’s nurse walked in.  
  
“Well, Agent Dinozzo,” she began with a smile, “happy to see you with us!” The young nurse said enthusiastically.  
  
“Tony…” He answered through gritted teeth as he fought against the pain.  
  
“Okay, Tony. My name is Betsy.” She responded. “How about I get you something for pain?”  
  
Tony nodded and let out a deep breath. After she left the room, he turned to the Director. “What happened?” His brain felt fuzzy and his body was so weak.  
  
“You had pneumonia and it was complicated by pus in your lungs. They did a surgery to drain most of it and they placed the chest tubes.”  
  
His voice was quiet. “I remember coming to the hospital…but surgery?” His eyes were wide with disbelief. He tried to clear his throat but it felt dry and raw. “Throat?”  
  
“You had a breathing tube placed for almost one week.” She grasped his hand. “We were all so worried.”  
  
The nurse returned and injected some medication into his IV. As it was taking affect, Tony turned to Jenny. “Thanks.”  
  
“For what, Tony?” She replied.  
  
“For being here; I know you’re busy and all…” He trailed off as he felt his face flush.  
  
“Nonsense. The whole team has been worried sick about you. When I couldn’t be here, Ducky was or Jethro.”  
  
At the mention of Gibbs’ name, Tony shuddered slightly. “Why?” He asked.  
  
“Why what, Tony?”  
  
“Why was Gibbs here?”  
  
“He cares, sweetie.” She said gently.  
  
“Doubt that.” He answered quietly in a raspy tone. Tony knew he sounded like a baby, but he didn’t care.  
  
“He’s coming tonight, after they wrap up a case.”  
  
Tony ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I…I…just can’t. Not yet. I’m too tired…” He paused as he tried to compose himself. “Please, Jenny. I’ll see Ducky or you…but no one else. Please.” His eyes watered as they pleaded with her.  
  
Jenny wanted to argue with him, but Tony looked so exhausted and so sad. She nodded her head and then he slowly drifted to sleep. She sat back heavily as she wondered how she was going to break the news to her former partner.  
  
*  
  
Jenny was getting ready to leave the floor, when she saw Gibbs walking up. “Visiting hours are nearly over tonight, Jethro.” She began quietly.  
  
“How is he?” She had called him earlier to tell him that he was talking and more awake.  
  
“He’s tired. But, he is doing a lot better.” She paused as she saw him eyeing Tony’s room with concern. “Why don’t you buy me a cup of coffee, Jethro?”  
  
“I’d like to see him, Jen.” He noticed she had looped her arm in his to lead him away from the room.  
  
“The doctors think his visits should be minimized. It will cause less stress and all.” She just couldn’t tell him the truth. “I really need some caffeine. We can go to the Starbucks down the street.”  
  
Gibbs’ eyes narrowed as he looked at Jen’s face. When she couldn’t hold his gaze, realization dawned on him. “He doesn’t want to see me.”  
  
“You need to give him time, Jethro.” She said to Gibbs’ retreating back as he walked down the hall. There was a set of chairs near the elevator and Gibbs sat down heavily. He ran his hands through his salt and pepper hair. Jen observed him and then sat next to him. She had never seen him so rattled except when he awoke from his coma calling for his family.  
  
“God, I screwed up.” He mumbled to himself and then stood abruptly and punched the down button for the elevator. Jen followed him in and they rode silently down to the lobby. He began to walk briskly and they found themselves in front of Starbucks. They each ordered a coffee and Jenny made him sit at a table.  
  
“Talk.” She demanded quietly. “I know it’s not your strong suit, but I think you need to.” She looked at her friend with concern.  
  
“What do you want me to say?” He practically growled.  
  
She leaned back and threw her hands up. Gibbs always appreciated candor, so she’d give it him. “Don’t take this out on me. This is between you and Tony.”  
  
He nodded and sighed. “I screwed up. I didn’t notice that my senior agent was deathly ill. I didn’t know he spent every holiday alone! I didn’t realize how much of a dick I was when I left and when I came back!” He paused as he breathed heavily, trying to get a rein on his emotions. “I thought I’d have more time…I thought…”  
  
The Director sat stunned at the sheer amount of words that Jethro just said. Her eyes widened briefly as she said softly, “You love him…”  
  
“What?” He responded in a higher voice. “No…I mean…he’s a member of my team…so…” He lamely added.  
  
Jenny smiled. “Don’t deny it, Jethro.”  
  
Gibbs gulped at his coffee and looked down at his cup. “Shit, Jen.” To hear someone acknowledge his feelings was almost too much to bear.  
  
“Jethro…” She began in a sad tone.  
  
“How can I fix this?” Gibbs sounded so lost; so unsure of himself. Jenny was not used to seeing this from him.  
  
She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Just give him time. He’ll come around.”  
  
“What if he decides to leave?”  
  
“I don’t know what his plans are right now, Jethro. Let’s just focus on his recovery.”  
  
Gibbs nodded his head, not able to speak anymore. The pain in his heart was too great. He just hoped he would get the chance to make it up to Tony before the man he loved walked out of his life forever.

*

While Tony recovered, the team continued to work. The atmosphere was somber as Tony’s absence was palpable. Their caseload was not heavy; Jenny saw that the MCRT had a lighter load of late. The others perhaps underestimated the stabilizing force that Tony had on the dynamic of the group. And not having had contact with him was the biggest hardship they faced. They knew it paled in comparison to what Tony was dealing with.  
  
Abby was down in autopsy sipping on tea with Ducky before heading out for the night. The normally hyper Forensic Scientist was quiet and subdued.  
  
“I wish I could just talk to him, Ducky. Apologize.” She said as her voice cracked. “We didn’t mean to hurt him. I didn’t know about the party and him not being invited. I swear!”  
  
Ducky sighed as he patted her arm. “Abigail, the depth of his hurt goes beyond that of a dinner party. That I am sure of.”  
  
“Did he tell you anything else?” She said in a slightly desperate tone.  
  
The ME shook his head. “No. I am not privy to his feelings on that matter.”  
  
She looked at him with puppy eyes. “Could you see if he will see us? Me? Please, Ducky…” She trailed off.  
  
“I will try, Abby.” Ducky responded.  
  
*  
  
Tony felt stronger with each passing day. His chest tubes had been removed and he was beginning to pester Brad about going home. Dr. Pitt sat in Tony’s room one early afternoon.  
  
“So Doc, what’s the verdict?” Tony attempted a smile. “When can I get the hell out of here?"  
  
Brad chuckled as he shook his head. “The good news is that you are almost ready to be discharged from the hospital.”  
  
Tony’s eyes narrowed. “And the bad…”  
  
“Not bad, Tony. You still need oxygen when you sleep.”  
  
“But you said I was ready to go home.”  
  
“We have to come up with a game plan for your discharge. There are a few options.”  
  
Tony was not sure where Brad was going with this. “Okay…” He said slowly.  
  
“There is a recovery, step down hospital where you can go for a week or two so we can wean you off the oxygen.”  
  
“Like…a nursing home?!” Tony sat up straighter. “No way!!” He said in an exasperating tone that triggered a slight coughing fit. Luckily, Brad was at his side, pounding on his back to help him through the spell. Tony sat for a few minutes gasping. As he recovered, he wiped his spit from his mouth as he looked at his friend and doctor. “Thanks.” He said in a raspy voice, suddenly feeling exhausted.  
  
"It's no problem, Tony. And it's not a nursing home. It's a rehab facility that caters to people post stroke to sports injuries to pulmonary rehab like you would do. The rooms are more spacious, there are less interruptions, and they do everything they can to reintegrate you back to your activities of daily living if possible.  
  
"Can't I just go to my apartment? Aren't there like home nurses or something?"  
  
"While you don't need the level of care that we give here Tony, your insurance company will not pay for the amount of care you would need by yourself at home." He paused. "Now, if you had a caregiver to stay with you part of the time, we might be able to figure something out. Why not stay with one of your team? Ducky, perhaps?"  
  
"Ducky has his mother to take care of." He answered quietly.  
  
Brad hesitated but then continued. "What about Gibbs?"  
  
Tony became very serious. "No." He said in a tense tone.  
  
"Tony, I haven't said anything because I was waiting for you to get better. But as your friend, what is going on with you and Gibbs; you and your team? You stayed with Gibbs after the Plague."  
  
Tony shook his head as he developed a pained expression upon his face. "Nothing. It's just not possible. Okay?" His voice caught slightly and Brad could see he was getting upset. "I just want to go home. Not to another hospital or to any of my _friends_." He added the last word with a hint a sarcasm that Brad chose to ignore for the time being.  
  
"I'm not sure what to tell you, man. Home healthcare is extremely expensive and if there are other viable options, insurance companies will not cover it.” Brad felt for his friend. He sighed as he stood. "Just think about it, Tony. Okay?"  
  
Tony nodded and turned away to lie on his side as Brad walked from the room. He felt miserable. Not only from his condition, but a fresh sense of loneliness and despair suddenly enveloped him. His eyelids fluttered as he drifted into a restless sleep.  
  
*  
  
When Tony awoke, darkness had settled upon the room. He couldn't believe he had slept for so long. The nurses must have pitied him, because they had not woken him for their customary vitals check. Happy for small favors, Tony gingerly scooted up in bed. As he sat thinking, his mind felt clear for the first time in weeks. He reached slowly over to the nightstand by his hospital bed. He opened the drawer and grabbed his cell phone. He scrolled down to a number and gazed at it for some time. He took a deep breath and pressed call. The number rang twice and Tony was about to lose his courage.  
  
_"Hello?"_ The voice said on the other line. _"Hello?"_  
  
Tony had to force himself to speak around the lump in his throat as his hand shook. "F-Father?"  
  
TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story is AU. In this story, Senior is not bankrupt and he disowned Tony when he was eighteen. Tony is now thirty-three.

Anthony Dinozzo Senior sat dumbfounded in the study of his mansion. He did not hear his assistant walk in. She was calling his name and had to do so multiple times.  
  
Suddenly he felt himself shake slightly. "Anthony!" He looked up into concerned eyes. "Is everything alright?" The older woman asked.  
  
Senior rubbed a hand over his face and he pushed back his chair and stood. "Yes...no..."  
Beverly had never seen her employer like this. She had worked for him for over twenty years. "What has you so unsettled?"  
  
Senior looked at her with shiny eyes. "Anthony called me."  
  
She gasped as she placed her hand over her mouth. "Tony?" She said in an awed tone. Her heart still ached for the boy. She nearly resigned over the way Senior dealt with his only child. But alas, she had needed the work and he paid well. But she worked tirelessly over the years for Anthony to reach out to his son. And for the last three years he had. But until today, Tony had not responded. "Is he alright?"  
  
"I don't think so. He sounded ill." He ran a shaky hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. "He asked if I could visit him. He's at Bethesda."  
  
"Did he say why?" She asked.  
  
He shook his head. "Call Paul; tell him to ready the plane. I would like to leave first thing in the morning." Beverly nodded and immediately left to make arrangements. He took a deep breath as he glanced at the picture of his beloved first wife. "I'm going to make this right, Isabella. I promise."  
  
*  
  
Senior walked down the hall of the hospital with a slight hesitation in his usually surefire steps. He was anxious but hopeful at the same time. He was not sure what to expect from his son and why he called. Was he dying? Was he going to lose his son before he had a chance to make amends? A million scenarios were swirling through his head. For a moment, he felt overwhelmed as he stood outside his son’s room. His hand shook slightly as he reached for the door.  
  
“Excuse me?” Senior heard a voice behind him and turned. “Agent Dinozzo has a limited set of visitors. May I ask your name?”  
  
“Anthony Dinozzo, Senior.” Tony’s father responded as he held out his hand.  
  
“Dr. Brad Pitt.” He replied, eyes wide with surprise as he shook the older man’s hand.  
  
Senior could sense the doctor’s disbelief and added, “Anthony called and asked me to come.”  
  
“I see.” Brad said a bit suspiciously. Tony and Brad had formed a friendship since his bout with the Plague so Brad was aware of the prolonged estrangement between Tony and his father. “Let me check with him to see if he is up to visitors at this time.” Brad disappeared into Tony’s room, leaving Senior alone in the hall. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Anthony Dinozzo Senior was not used to waiting for anybody. But he promised himself that if he ever got the chance to reconcile with his son, he would be different. This was about a hopefully new beginning.  
  
After a few minutes, Dr. Pitt exited Tony’s room. “Go on in, Mr. Dinozzo.” He said. “And when you are done, please have the nurse page me and we can discuss a few things.”  
  
Senior held out his hand again and the two shook. “Thank you so much, Dr. Pitt.” He said with a slight smile and then took a deep breath. He entered.  
  
*  
  
As Senior quietly entered Tony’s room, he noticed how frail and pale his son looked. He walked over to the bed as the two watched each other but had said no words.  
  
“Anthony.” Senior said quietly as he stood by his son’s bed. His eyes teared as he gazed upon his son for the first time since he was eighteen.  
  
Tony looked at his father with hesitation and a little fear. This was the man who disowned him so many years ago, left him on his own to fend for himself. Could he forgive him?  
  
Senior could see the how visibly shaken Tony seemed. He just wanted to allay his fears if he could. “Thank you for calling me.” When his son did not answer, Senior grabbed a chair and sat by his bed; but he made sure to keep some distance. He did not want to crowd him and make him more uncomfortable than he already appeared. “How can I help?” He said tentatively.  
  
Tony sat silent for a time, willing himself to talk. He struggled to find the words. Senior could sense this so he asked a different question. “What happened? Why are you in the hospital?”  
  
Tony answered softly, not looking his father in the eye. “Pneumonia.”  
  
“I am so sorry.” Senior answered. “How long have you been here?”  
  
Tony paused at his father’s tone. He seemed almost…sincere…as if he actually cared. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this. “Almost three weeks.” Tony turned to his father when he heard him gasp slightly at his statement. “Had to have surgery.” He added quietly.  
  
“Are you getting out soon?” Senior asked. Tony nodded as he continued to stare at his hands. He felt relief surge through him that his son would get discharged and the diagnosis was not terminal. “Is this why you called me?” Tony nodded again. It was if he couldn’t find his voice. It was too hard.  
  
“Anything I can do to help, Anthony, and I will.” Senior said with conviction. Tony absorbed this statement and thought for a time.  
  
“Why?” Tony asked, his voice laced with hurt. “Why now? Why did you come?”  
  
Senior took a deep breath and hoped he could make his son understand. “I came because you asked me to.” His voice cracked. “Anthony, I made so many mistakes. I was a terrible father to you and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know that.”  
  
Tony bit his lip. “It wasn’t always that way.” He replied, his tone heavy with emotion.  
  
“After your mother died, I know everything changed. I was so angry at the world. I drank too much. I neglected you and was cruel.” He paused as he looked down to try to regain his composure. “The things I said to you…how I acted. Anthony, I am so sorry…” Senior reached into his pocket and brought out his handkerchief. He wiped the moisture at the corners of his eyes.  
  
Tony turned away as tears rolled down his face. He was hearing the words he had yearned to hear for almost fifteen years. It felt surreal. After some time, he looked at his father again as he gently wiped at his face.  
  
“It wasn’t your fault, Anthony. You must know that. I was a drunk and a bastard. You weren’t worthless. I should have never said those things.” He winced as the memories of those times flooded through him. “I was awful and you didn’t deserve any of it.”  
  
Tony was now sobbing as he heard his father. The years of fear, neglect, and hurt all enveloped him. Suddenly, he had a coughing fit. His eyes widened as he couldn’t catch his breath. He sat up abruptly and his father only hesitated a moment. He embraced his son. He felt helpless but then started pounding on his back, trying to help him through his fit. He felt it was the only thing he could do. As the coughing finally passed, Tony lay against his father sweating and panting heavily. Senior rubbed his hand down his son’s back. He felt some shame as he tried to remember when he actually held his child like this. He could not. His memory was blank. And at that realization, a tear traversed slowly down his tanned face.  
  
They stayed silent for a time. Senior gently helped Tony lay back. He could tell Tony wanted to say something so he gave him time. “I want to believe you.” Tony whispered, his voice weakened from the coughing.  
  
“I know you have you have no reason to, but I hope one day you can.” The elder Dinozzo answered softly.  
  
“I’m so tired…” Tony said blankly as he stared across the room. Senior knew he was referring to more than his current health.  
  
“I know. Maybe…I mean…” Senior stumbled upon his words, which was unusual for the confident man. “Maybe you could come home while you get better.”  
  
Tony found himself smiling slightly, relief enveloping him. The words had been on the tip of his tongue…but he could not bring himself to ask. He had promised himself years ago, he would never return to his childhood home. But…things were different now. “Do you mean it?”  
  
Senior grasped his son’s pale hand. “I do, Anthony.” He sighed. “If I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you can trust me, I will.” He smiled. “Will you please come home?”  
  
Tony nodded and squeezed his father’s hand.  
  
*  
  
Gibbs was walking towards the elevator at work when he was met by Ziva, Tim, and Abby. “What?” He snapped; his tone even sounding harsh to him.  
  
“Gibbs, we want to see Tony.” Abby said with watery eyes. It’s been three and a half weeks! We have to see him!” He could see the same emotions conveyed by his other agents.  
  
Gibbs sighed. “Guys, I know you want to see him.”  
  
“But he does not want to see us?” Ziva asked.  
  
“All this over a party, Gibbs?” Abby answered. “I don’t understand! Why can’t he let us explain?”  
  
“I don’t know, Abbs…” Gibbs replied softly, the stress of the situation obviously taking a toll. “Right now, he won’t see me either.”  
  
“But you keep going.” McGee replied.  
  
“Yep.” Gibbs responded. “I’ll let you know, guys. Okay? If things change.” He turned and stepped into the elevator.  
  
*  
  
Gibbs walked onto Tony’s floor at the hospital. He saw Dr. Pitt, Jenny, and a man he did not recognize talking. They were smiling as they conversed. Jethro hung back as they finished the conversation. Brad walked away and Jenny made her way towards him with the man.  
  
Instead of greeting them, Gibbs’ eyes narrowed as he looked at Jenny. “What’s going on?”  
  
“Jethro. Meet Anthony Dinozzo, Senior.” She paused. “Mr. Dinozzo, this is Jethro Gibbs, Tony’s lead agent.”  
  
Senior held out his hand, but Jethro did not oblige. “What the hell are you doing here?” He said instead. Gibbs did not know everything about Tony’s past, but he knew enough.  
  
Senior withdrew his hand and straightened his already rigid posture. “Excuse me? Mr. Gibbs, my son asked me to come.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at Gibbs. He quickly turned to the Jenny and smiled. “It was a pleasure, Director. I’ll return to his room now.”  
  
After Senior was out of earshot, Jenny turned angry eyes to her former partner. “What was that, Jethro?!” She said in an angry tone. “You had no right to be so rude!”  
  
“Come on, Jen! His father?”  
  
“If that is what Tony’s wants, then we need to respect his choices. He is an adult.” Their conversation was interrupted when Senior returned to the hallway.  
  
“Director Shepard?” He began. “Anthony would like to speak with you. I’ll take a chance to grab some dinner.” He smiled at Jenny and as he walked past Gibbs, the two men glared at each other.  
  
“Behave.” She looked at Gibbs before she went to Tony.  
  
*  
  
“Tony?” Jenny began as she sat by his bed. She smiled as she saw him sit up in bed. He certainly looked better than he has.  
  
“Hi, Jenny.” He responded.  
  
They were silent for a time and then Jenny spoke again. “Brad told me that you will go with your dad to recuperate.” She paused. “Are you sure that is what you want?”  
  
Tony looked down for a bit. “Yes. I can’t stay here right now.”  
  
“Are you coming back to NCIS?” She asked concern laced in her voice. He was a great agent and she was quite fond of him and protective as well. Tony shrugged his shoulders as he sighed. “I’m not sure.”  
  
“If it is an issue with the team, Tony, there are other options. You are an excellent agent and we are happy to have you. You have proven yourself to be a capable leader as well.”  
  
“Not sure everyone would agree with that.” He mumbled softly.  
  
“Hey.” Jenny said. “I say so and I’m the big Boss!” She smiled slightly causing Tony to relax a bit. “Tony, the lead agent in Rota is leaving in six months to become the head of NCIS operations in Europe.”  
  
“I thought Leon Vance was the head of NCIS in Europe.” He replied.  
  
“He is. He has accepted the deputy directorship of Homeland Security.”  
  
Tony thought for a moment. “Rota? You are offering me Rota?”  
  
“Yes. It is a wonderful opportunity. Rota can lead to top advancement at NCIS and with other agencies. I was lead agent there and so was Leon.”  
  
He had some self doubt. “You’re serious, aren’t you.” Jenny nodded. “Rota. Huh.” He said softly. “I always thought I’d stay in the states. I’m not sure…”  
  
“You don’t have to answer me right now. Okay?” She smiled. “So…leaving tomorrow, huh?” She tried for a light tone. “Is there anyone you would like to see before you go?”  
  
Tony sighed. “Jenny…”  
  
“For your own good, Tony, talk to him.”  
  
“I don’t know...he probably isn’t even here.”  
  
“He is. Like he does every night he can. He comes hoping he can get a chance to see you.”  
  
Tony was exhausted and didn’t want to fight. “Fine. Send him in.” He pouted and Jenny couldn’t help but grin. “But I hate you, you know.”  
  
“Sure you do.” She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and then left the room.  
  
*  
  
There was a light knock on the door. “Tony?” Gibbs asked as he opened the door. His heart sped up in anticipation of seeing him. He took in the pale face of his senior agent. He had clearly lost weight during his illness. What hurt the most was seeing the dull look in Tony’s eyes as he gazed upon him. They did not speak for a time. Gibbs felt nervous, not wanting to say the wrong thing.  
  
“I’m sorry.” He began quietly.  
  
Tony scowled slightly. “What exactly are you sorry for, Gibbs?” Jethro realized how upset Tony was when he did not call him Boss.  
  
“I know there is a lot I…we don’t know but I want to make up for it.”  
  
“Why do you care?” Tony said in an angry tone.  
  
“I do.” Jethro responded only to hear Tony chuckle bitterly to his statement.  
  
“Doubt that.”  
  
“Tony, please.” Gibbs implored. “Talk to me.”  
  
“What do want me to say?” He said, sounding almost defeated.  
  
“You have been deathly ill and you didn’t want any of us here. We’re your family.”  
  
Tony began to laugh, and that led to a coughing fit. Gibb stepped up to help but Tony extended his arm and tried to calm his breathing down. “Don’t need your help.” He said, his voice raspy. “Don’t pretend you care when I know you don’t.” He took a deep breath. “You’re not my family. And it was my mistake to think you were.”  
  
“Tony…” Gibbs eyes watered as he heard the harsh words from Dinozzo.  
  
“When you left for your siesta in Mexico…I got it. You were hurting…you were going through things. But the way you left. A pathetic ‘you’ll do.’ Gee, _Boss_ , thank you for the overwhelming vote of confidence.”  
  
“You were more than ready to be team leader.”  
  
“Really?” Tony responded bitterly. “Wouldn’t have garnered that from the ringing endorsement I got. I don’t think the others got the memo either.” He paused as he cleared his throat. “Do you know what it was like after you left? McGee and Ziva couldn’t stand taking orders from me. They were insubordinate and lazy. But I guess I am partially to blame. I always acted like a dumb jock, so maybe that is how they always viewed me. I tried to be tough like you at first. But all I kept hearing was ‘you’re not Gibbs, stop acting like Gibbs’!” He took a deep breath. “So I tried to be me. I had my campfires and tried to make the team my own. But it didn’t matter. It was never good enough. Every time I went to Abby’s lab there were pictures of you plastered everywhere. She played depressing music and cried a lot. I never had a chance.” His voice cracked slightly. “But let me tell you something, Agent Gibbs. Our close rate never changed. The work still got done. It just so happened that I did most of it.”  
  
Gibbs eyes widened. He had no idea that was how it was.  
  
“And when you came back, everyone was so happy. I get it. But there was the constant reminder of my demotion, and the relentless jabs at me as to how I was dealing with it. The disrespectful way you placed my things on my former desk and the insulting manner in which _my_ Probie found out she was reassigned were uncalled for. Ziva and McGee were so smug and I’m sure if they could have thrown a parade they would have!” Tony took a few deep breaths in to reign in his anger. “But I dealt with it…like I have always dealt with things.” His eyes watered. “The final straw was that party.” He shook his head as he looked down. “A stupid fucking party. It shouldn’t have hurt so much, but it did.”  
  
“Tony,” Gibbs began, voice heavy with emotion, “we didn’t know Ziva didn’t invite you.”  
  
“I don’t think it matters at this point. What does is that you all took pleasure in making sure I knew how much fun you had as a team.” He bit his lip as he gazed at his lap. “It’s my own fault. I thought I finally found something. But I was wrong.”  
  
Gibbs wasn’t sure how to respond. How could he fix this? “Tony…”  
  
“No. I’ve had enough right now. I’m tired.” He turned away slightly. But Gibbs didn’t take the hint. “Why are you still here?” His tone was cold.  
  
“Your dad is here.” Gibbs responded softly.  
  
Tony sighed and wanted to tell Gibbs to screw off but he looked at him again. “Either I go to a rehab hospital or stay with one of my _friends_.” He glared at Gibbs. “My father has been trying to contact me for three years, so I called him.” He could tell Gibbs was not responding well to that explanation and held up his hand. “It’s none of your business, so I don’t want to hear it.” The two stared at each other for a bit.  
  
“Are you coming back to NCIS, Tony?” Gibbs heart fluttered as he waited for a response.  
  
“Director Shepard will be kept informed of my plans, Agent Gibbs. I think it’s time for you to go.” Tony said in a professional manner, although on the inside he just wanted to cry. Jethro reluctantly left.  
  
He felt so foolish for trusting his team, for thinking that they were closer than they were. He felt so alone. Even though his father was different, could he really trust him? Maybe the problem was him. Everyone in his life at some point dismissed him: his father, Gibbs, his team. Tony snuggled into his blanket and pulled it up to his head. Maybe he could make the world go away, even for a moment.  
  
TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback!

As Tony sat in his father’s Gulfstream jet, he couldn’t help but be nervous. Had he done the right thing? His father seemed to be sincere since he had come to Bethesda. He had not given any indication that Tony was unwanted or an inconvenience. That had certainly been different from when he was growing up.  
  
Upon his arrival at Bethesda, Senior had expeditiously made arrangements in two days for twenty-four hour home health care at their mansion in New York. The nurse whom Senior hired was flown to Maryland and met Tony prior to their departure. She seemed nice. She was a kind, gentle woman in her late fifties. Tony had taken to Alice from the get go. She was tough, but loving and she made funny jokes, which Tony liked.  
  
She monitored his oxygen levels and made Tony wear the nasal cannula for oxygen when he needed to. She was a bit of a mother hen. It made Tony a bit uncomfortable at first, but she told Tony to get used to it. She told him she’d have him on his feet in no time. At this point, Tony was too tired to argue.  
  
He dozed lightly on the way to Long Island, New York. He heard his father in the background conducting some business. Before he knew it, they were in a limo driving towards their destination. Tony could not help his unease and nerves increase as they approached the Dinozzo Estate.  
  
This had been his childhood home and he had not been there in fifteen years. As if his father could sense his trepidation, he looked upon his son. He patted his arm gently and tried to smile.  
  
Tony’s heart beat wildly and his breath came in short bursts. Alice felt his pulse and assessed her patient. “Tony, you need to slow your breathing down.” She said softly as he began to cough. She beat on his back to help break up the mucus as she tried to reassure him. “It’s okay, Tony. Slow down.” The nurse looked at her boss. She noticed the worried eyes of the older man.  
  
He had been honest with her from her hire. He told Alice an abbreviated history of what transpired between him and his son. Alice just thought how much of a shame it was, the time Senior wasted. Alice herself had lost her only child at an  early age and the heartache of it has never gone away. To knowingly throw your child away is unforgivable. Initially she was unsure if she wanted to take the job, but after she met Tony, he seemed so sweet and sad that she felt she could help him.  
  
When they arrived, the butler was waiting with a wheelchair in the back of the mansion. Senior had a wheelchair accessible ramp installed to allow Tony easy access into the home. Luckily, the mansion was equipped with an elevator so navigating indoors was not too much of an issue.  
  
Alice and Senior helped a still weakened Tony from the car. He wanted to protest, but if he was honest with himself, Tony did not have the strength to maneuver himself right now. He sat down heavily in the chair. After a few moments to catch his breath, he wiped his sweaty brow and looked up. “Hi, Paul.” Tony said, voice raspy from the mucus settling in his throat.  
  
“Anthony, it is such a delight to see you.” The British older gentleman said kindly.  
  
“Thanks.” He replied. Paul moved behind the chair and began to wheel him into the house.  
  
“Didn’t realize the house had one of these.” Tony said to the man as they went up the ramp into the house.  
  
“Your father had it installed yesterday.” He quietly responded as they entered the large home. As they went towards the elevator, Tony scanned his surroundings; he noticed how much of the mansion had stayed the same. He took a deep breath and realized that it still smelled the same. He couldn’t help but have watery eyes as memories flooded in his head. Some were good, but the majority were not. He looked down to try to compose himself. It was overwhelming being in his childhood home. Right now, he needed a moment alone.  
  
Luckily, they arrived in front of a door that he could only assume was to be his room. His father opened it and they went through. The room was enormous and the beautiful décor was interspersed with medical equipment. There was a traditional king sized bed alongside a hospital type bed. It was the best of luxurious comfort with the practicality of a hospital room. Tony was taken back a moment at what his father put together for him. He felt he needed to say something.  
  
“I-It’s great, father. Thank you.” He said softly.  
  
“I’m glad you like it.” He turned to his butler and nurse. “Could you give us a moment?”  
  
He waited until the two left and sat on the bed facing Tony in his wheelchair. “This is your home, Anthony. I know it will take some time, but I hope one day you will feel comfortable here.” He smiled slightly. “I want you to know that despite the circumstances, I am so happy you are here. Never doubt that . Okay?” He squeezed Tony’s arm as his son nodded, not trusting his voice at this point. “So,” Senior stood, “let’s get Alice back in here and get you settled.”  
  
*  
  
Senior sat in his home office. He had spent most of the three and a half weeks since Tony had come home here at the estate. He had ventured into Manhattan only a few times for essential meetings he could not miss. He made sure on those two occasions that Tony knew he would only be gone a few hours at the most. Luckily flying to Manhattan in his helicopter shortened his trips.  
  
He was pleased his son was improving. He had started physical therapy to strengthen his muscles and he only needed oxygen occasionally. He still had a ways to go in his convalescence but he was making strides.  
  
Tony seemed to becoming more comfortable around him but he knew it would take some time to be able to build a normal father/son relationship. Senior looked down when his phone rang.  
  
“Anthony Dinozzo.” He said confidently.  
  
“Mr. Dinozzo.” The voice on the other line spoke.  
  
“Ah, Agent Gibbs. I was surprised not to hear from you yesterday.” He replied. Jethro had called every day since Tony’s release.  
  
“We had a bad case. I couldn’t get away.” Jethro responded gruffly.  
  
“I see.”  
  
“How is Tony?” His voice carried a hint of worry.  
  
“He’s improving with each day. But, it’s a slow process.” Senior said.  
  
“Could I talk to him?” Jethro asked.  
  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Agent Gibbs.” He heard Jethro sigh.  
  
“Have you even told him about my calls?” The lead agent asked.  
  
“I have not.” Senior answered truthfully. He knew Jethro was going to blow up so he continued. “Now I know you may think my intentions are not pure, Agent Gibbs. I am lucky enough that my son has given me a second chance to try to be the father he deserves.” His voice cracked slightly and then he went on. “One thing I have noticed that one of the reasons he is here is because he is running away from something there.”  
  
“Has he talked to you about it?”  
  
“No. And I am not going to pry. All I know is that he needs time. He is going through a lot.” He paused. “I appreciate the calls. It makes me feel better that there are people who care about him. I will inform him of your calls…when the time is right. Until then, give him time, Agent Gibbs.” There was silence for a moment. “Have a good day.” He said without malice.  
  
“You too.” Gibbs answered and then hung up.  
  
*  
  
Later that evening, Senior found Tony in the lounge area off his bedroom. It had a 60 inch flat screen. Tony was lying on the plush couch watching a movie. Senior noticed the slight smile on his son’s face. He looked at the screen. “Casablanca.”  
  
“Yeah.” Tony answered with a slight blush to his face as he paused the movie.  
  
“That was your mother’s favorite movie.” Senior replied. Tony had moved to sit up. The movement caused a small coughing fit. As he gasped slightly, his father beat on his back like Alice had showed him. He sat next to his son.  
  
When it was over, Tony took a deep breath and looked down. “I hate this.”  
  
“Yes, but you are getting better.”  
  
“I know.” He let one more cough out. It sounded painful to Senior’s ears. He reached over to the coffee table and grabbed a tissue and handed it to Tony. Tony was able to spit out the mucus that had accumulated in his mouth and placed the used napkin in the small trash bin by the couch. He turned to see Senior holding a water bottle. He took a small sip. “Thanks.”  
  
“You’re welcome.” His father said. They sat in silence for a time and he noticed Tony had not restarted the movie.  
  
“Everything okay, Anthony?”  
  
His son shrugged and looked away a bit. “I’m not sure what you want from me.” He said in almost a shy manner.  
  
Senior knew that eventually they would really need to talk. He took a deep breath and began. “When I disowned you, I was so angry. No son of mine was going to be caught dead at a Midwest state school.” He chuckled bitterly. “Tony, I wasn’t thinking about you. I was only thinking about me. I was a bastard, I was a drunk and I am so sorry. I knew things were bad before you left and I basically threw you out to fend for yourself.” He paused as he tried not to let his emotions carry him away. “I didn’t get my head out of ass until I sobered up about five years ago. I started to think about you…wondering what you were doing…” He looked at Tony who was staring at his hands. “I hired a private eye to find you.” Tony looked up with wide eyes.  
  
“Why?” His voice laced with hurt.  
  
“Because I needed to know you were okay. I needed to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. But I wanted to get to know my son.” Senior’s eyes watered. “I found out what you had done in your football career in college and when you became a police officer and then I found you in DC.”  
  
“That’s when you started calling.” Tony whispered, still not able to look his father in the eye.  
  
“Tony, you have built a good life for yourself. You have become an amazing young man, despite me.” He placed his hand on Tony’s arm. “You place your life in danger to help the armed forces and protect the country against terrorism. I am so proud of you.”  
  
Tony bit his lip. The words he wanted to hear for so long had rendered him speechless. He did not know what to say.  
  
“There are many people in DC that care about you. I have been inundated with calls for daily updates on you; especially Agent Gibbs.”  
  
Tony gasped slightly when he heard Jethro’s name. He had talked with Jenny and Ducky several times but not Gibbs. “Why didn’t you tell me he called?”  
  
“Calls. He calls nearly every day. And I did not say anything until now because I could tell it would be upsetting to you. Am I right?” Tony hesitated but then nodded. “I am so happy you are here with me, even if it is only for a short while. But…are you running from something, Anthony?”  
  
He shook his head not wanting to talk about it. It was becoming too much: his father’s apologetic words and thinking about the situation in DC was almost too much to bear. Tony was coming close to falling apart.  
  
“What’s wrong with me?” The tone of defeat in Tony’s voice broke his father’s heart. Did he damage his boy beyond repair? He looked at his father with shiny eyes. He appeared to be a little boy searching for answers. “You didn’t want me…and he…they didn’t either…” Tony placed his hands over his face trying to regain his composure.  
  
“Tony…what I did to you wasn’t your fault." His voice cracked. "I was broken inside and I took it out on you. Please, son, it wasn’t your fault.” He placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder and realized something. “Tony, you care about Agent Gibbs, don’t you?” Tony gazed up at him, despair on his face. “That’s why he is calling so much. It's more than a working relationship. He cares about you too.” Tony frantically shook his head.  
  
“No, he doesn’t.” He whispered and began staring at his shaking hands again.  
  
“It doesn’t matter whom you love son.” Tony lifted his head in surprise. “I’m not here to judge. I want you in my life and I want to be a part of yours.” It all became too much for Tony and tears began to pour down his face. He cried for his lost childhood, he cried for his beloved mother who left this life too soon, and he cried for the loneliness and self doubt that had consumed him for all his life. His father embraced his distraught son, rocking him slowly. He needed the release and maybe he could start to heal physically and emotionally.  
  
As Tony’s head lay on his father’s chest, he said, “I’m so tired...” His voice was thick with emotion.  
  
“Mia Tonio.” Senior spoke gently as he stroked his son’s soft hair. “Rest now…everything will work out. Let me finally take care of you.” A tear slipped from his father’s eye.  
  
TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finally understands the implications of their actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews!

Gibbs sat in the basement on a Friday night in a zone. When he sanded he felt calm, he felt as if he could let go of his problems for a time. He closed his eyes when he heard the front door open. He could tell by the footsteps that he had several visitors. He knew who it was before they descended into his sanctuary.  
  
Abby, McGee, and Ziva tentatively walked down the stairs into Gibbs' dark haven. They saw him in the corner, sanding a piece of wood. They went towards him. After a few moments of awkward silence, Gibbs said, "Take a seat." He pulled out two horses for them to sit on. Abby and Ziva shared one and McGee took the other one.  
  
"What's on your mind?" Gibbs asked but he knew it was a foregone conclusion what they came to discuss.  
  
"Come on, Gibbs." Abby replied, pain evident in her voice. "We haven't talked to Tony in seven weeks!" Her lower lip quivered. "Does he hate us that much?"  
  
Gibbs looked at the other two to see if they had something to say, but they stayed quiet. Gibbs sighed. He really did not want to get into this now, but it was time. He was waiting for them to approach him to give an explanation.  
  
"Okay, let's talk." Gibbs responded.  
  
"Wait…what?" McGee stumbled slightly. "You actually want to talk? You?" He asked.  
  
"When it is important, I can talk." Gibbs replied with a slight scowl.  
  
"Good." Ziva said. "Like I said before, I am sorry about the party. If I could get a chance to explain that to Tony, I am sure..."  
  
"Ziver," Gibbs interjected in a tight tone, "this goes beyond that damn party." He took a deep breath. This conversation was going to take a lot out of him. "When I left for Mexico..." he began. Ziva, Abby, and McGee looked at each other with surprise. They were not sure what this had to do with Tony, but they stayed quiet for the time being. "I was pretty messed up. I handed the team over to Tony. Now the manner in which I did so likely left something to be desired. I had total confidence in Tony's ability to lead the team, but my 'you'll do' probably sounded a bit dismissive."  
  
"Okay..." McGee said in a confused tone. Gibbs looked at him and wanted to smack that attitude right off his face. But, he kept his composure.  
  
"So," he continued as he looked at his two agents and his forensic specialist, "how was Tony as a team leader?"  
  
"He was fine, Gibbs." Ziva answered quickly. Gibbs now truly understood why Tony was so upset.  
  
"Just fine." Gibbs replied slowly.  
  
"What does this have to do with anything, Gibbs?" Abby asked.  
  
He ignored her question for a moment and turned to McGee. "So, Tim, how was it being a senior agent?"  
  
He shrugged his shoulders. "It wasn't all that different from what I did before, to be honest with you."  
  
Gibbs nodded and turned back to Ziva. "Why did you call me when you were in trouble and not your team leader?"  
  
"Because I knew you could help me. I needed the best."  
  
"And you did not think Tony could help?"  
  
She stuttered slightly. "It's not that...it's just..."  
  
"And Abby, for the entire time I was gone, you had pictures of me plastered all over your lab."  
  
"Well, yeah...I missed you."  
  
"When I 'retired', I had no intention of coming back. I left the MCRT at the Navy Yard in the best hands that I could. Tony Dinozzo is the best young agent I have ever worked with. I would have never considered anyone else to assume the position. He did not get it by default or because it was the easiest transition, he truly deserved it. And I am sorry if my actions handing him the team and how I resumed the lead gave you the impression that I thought otherwise.”  
  
Ziva, Tim, and Abby gazed at each other with wide eyes. Did they just hear Leroy Jethro Gibbs apologize?  
  
“Ziva, there is no one else I would rather have on my six than Tony. Tim, the reason you did not notice a major difference as senior agent is that Tony not only was the lead but did the majority of your work as well.” He took a deep breath. “Tony is not me. And I’m sure the million times you reminded him of this hurt him.” They all looked away. “And when he did try to put his own stamp on the team, like with his campfires, he was met with eye rolling and snide remarks. The amount of insubordination you showed him is inexcusable.” He paused. “I played my role, as did all of you.” He looked pointedly at the three. “So, after knowing all this and the fact he was not invited to a ‘team’ party, why the hell do you think Tony would want any part of us?”  
  
Abby gasped a bit as tears rolled down her face. “I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings…I –I just missed you.”  
  
“I get that Abbs, but you guys never gave him a chance. Hell, I didn’t help either.” He shook his head a bit. “Tony thought of us as his family and we let him down." He paused. "Did you know that Tony had a very difficult childhood? He lost his mother early, his father was neglectful and hateful, and basically disinherited him when he was eighteen. He has been on his own for so long."  
  
“I didn’t know that.” Tim said as they all pondered Gibbs’ revelation.  
  
“How do we make it right?” Abby added as she wiped her face.  
  
“Is Tony even coming back to NCIS?” Tim asked, guilt coursing through him. When Jethro did not immediately answer, Ziva spoke up.  
  
“Is he, Gibbs?”  
  
“I don’t know. I call almost every day and he won’t take my call. The Director and Ducky are still in contact with him, so we’ll have to wait to hear from them.” He resumed sanding.  
  
“We are sorry, Gibbs.” Ziva said sincerely.  
  
“I’m not the one who needs to hear that, Ziva.” Jethro replied quietly. After some time, the three slowly made their exit.  
  
*  
  
The next morning, Tony and Senior sat on the enclosed veranda eating a late breakfast. Tony had slept in unusually late. He was exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster he had been on lately.  
  
“So,” Senior began, “I had a conversation with Dr. Pitt this morning.”  
  
Tony looked up. “Really? What did you talk about?”  
  
“Well, after I chastised him for breaking your leg…”  
  
Tony’s eyes widened. “What? You know about that? How?”  
  
Senior’s eyes sparkled. “I’ll get to that in a minute. But, I asked him if you were well enough to travel. I had my personal doctor email him your progress.”  
  
“Travel? To where?”  
  
“I think some sun would help your recovery. I asked him if I could take you to the Cayman Islands.”  
  
“You still have your place there?” Tony remembered many times growing up his father would jet off to the Island, but he had never taken him along. He was always left behind with the Help.  
  
“I do. The sun would help you regain some color. It would probably do well for your lungs as well.”  
  
Tony smiled slightly. “What did Brad say?”  
  
“As long as Alice accompanies us and we are aware of a nearby reputable hospital, he gave us a thumbs up.”  
  
“Us? You’d go too?” Tony asked tentatively. “Don’t you have work to do?”  
  
“Nothing I can’t take with me. And besides, Anthony, I have very reliable people running my companies. I have taken a step back from daily operations for some time now.”  
  
Tony ducked his head slightly. “Okay.” There was some silence for a time. Senior saw that Tony was likely finished with his breakfast.  
  
Senior took one last sip of coffee and stood. “So, Dr. Pitt and your leg?”  
  
Tony immediately shook his head in disbelief. “How did you know about that?”  
  
“Come with me,” his father replied. Tony and Senior walked slowly down the long corridor; his father looped his arm into Tony's to keep him steady. Tony's strength had improved but when he had to walk distances, it helped to have some support. They finally reached a large room that held a television. Senior walked to the entertainment center and opened up one of the sliding doors. He pointed out a collection of DVD’s to Tony.  
  
Tony gasped slightly as he pulled one out. “These are all my games at Ohio State.” He turned to his father. “How?”  
  
“A few years back, I made a donation to their athletic department and department of criminal justice. I wanted the money used to establish a scholarship for a student in need. I asked if I could have copies of your games. I guess it was my way of trying to get to know you.” He paused. “I bet football was really important to you.”  
  
“Yeah…it was…” Tony responded wistfully and then his mood turned somber. “If it hadn’t been for that and my fraternity brothers…” Tony’s voice trailed off. Senior understood the implications of his son’s words and what he did not express. He nodded his head in understanding.  
  
“Anthony, I don’t want you ever to think I am trying to buy your love or anything like that. I know I need earn back your trust. This was just a way for me to make up for what I should have done before. I am sorry I wasn’t there for you; cheering you on…supporting you emotionally and financially.” He walked up to Tony and placed his hand on his shoulder. “It must have been lonely.” Tony could not trust his voice with words so he just nodded and looked away. Senior sniffed as he saw Tony’s eyes water; so, he changed the subject. “Why don’t we go pack?”  
  
TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

The two weeks Tony had spent in the Cayman’s did wonders for his recovery. He had a lot of time to think about his life: where he had come from and where he was going. He spent hours sitting on the beautiful beach communing with the ocean. He was allowed to ponder the situation in DC and how he was to proceed from there. The time spent with his father was used to continue to slowly build upon the foundation they had set.  
  
Tony was now off oxygen and as he returned to New York, he began to think more and more about NCIS. He and his father had a long discussion about his future as well. One of his father’s companies was in private security and he had offered Tony an advisory position on the Board. For now, he would attend quarterly meetings. Senior thought Tony’s background as a police officer and federal agent could provide invaluable information on how to keep their high profile clients safe. And his father also left the door open for Tony to take a larger role in the company if he ever decided to leave NCIS.  
  
*  
  
Jenny was in Manhattan attending a conference. Tony flew into the city to meet her for dinner. They were eating at a quaint restaurant in Little Italy.  
  
“You are looking well, Tony.” She noticed a healthy glow to his face that had been absent for some time.  
  
“I’ll start working out with a trainer next week. It’s a slow process, but I want to get fit again.”  
  
“In due time.” She smiled as they ordered and sipped on some wine. “Have you decided what you want to do?” She saw him hesitate slightly but then nod.  
  
“I want to come back, I really do.” He replied.  
  
“But…”  
  
“After everything that has happened, I don’t think I could work with the team anymore.”  
  
Jenny knew that would be the case. But, she continued. “And Rota?”  
  
Tony shook his head. “I don’t want to leave the U.S. right now, Jenny. After being sick…reconnecting with my dad…” He sighed. “I don’t want to be too difficult.” He looked apprehensive. “Are you disappointed?”  
  
“I am not surprised by your dilemma nor am I disappointed in you. You are a great agent, Tony.” She smiled and paused as the waiter placed salad plates in front of them. “I wanted to hear that you were coming backing to NCIS to discuss with you my other proposal.”  
  
“What proposal?”  
  
“Our caseload at the Navy Yard is heavy. Especially in wartime, the stress placed on our armed forces naturally causes a rise in various offenses. And the country has been on heightened alert since 9-11 as well.”  
  
“Okay.” Tony responded, not sure where Jenny was going with this.  
  
“So, I decided to create a second Major Case Response Team, with you as lead agent.”  
  
“Really?” Tony said in a surprised tone.  
  
“Yes. It is a well deserved promotion, Tony. When you return from sick leave, we will choose three members for your new team. I already have a few in mind, but we will make the decision together.”  
  
“Does Gibbs know?”  
  
Jenny shook her head. “I wanted to talk to you first. When your return nears, I will send an official announcement throughout the agency.” She smiled. “Do you need time to think about it?”  
  
“No. I’ll do it.” He answered with conviction.  
  
Jenny raised her glass. “Congratulations, Special Agent Dinozzo.”  
  
“Thank you, Director.” He answered with a wide smile.  
  
*  
  
Tony was at his apartment in DC one month later. He was looking around at the task at hand. The movers and his father were coming in two days. He had realized that a five flight walk up was not optimal for him anymore. Even though his health had improved, he now needed daily asthma medication in addition to his rescue inhaler.  
  
With his increased salary from his promotion and the extra money he would get for serving on the board of his father’s company, he could afford an upgrade in his living arrangements. As he surveyed the room, he began to mentally map out his plan of action. He turned suddenly when he heard a knock on the door. He was not sure who it was. When he looked out the peephole, he sighed. He should have known his return to DC would not stay a secret too long. ‘Damn you, Jenny,’ he thought to himself as he laughed lightly. Tony opened the door to a surprisingly subdued looking Jethro.  
  
“Hi.” Jethro said as he looked at Tony for the first time in over two months. He looked amazing. His color had returned and even though he was at least ten pounds lighter than before his illness, Gibbs felt at a loss for words at how beautiful the younger man looked.  
  
“Gibbs.” Tony applauded himself silently that his voice sounded so calm. As hurt as he has been over his former Boss’ behavior, he couldn’t help the fluttering of his heart seeing him again.  
  
“Can I come in?” Gibbs asked.  
  
“Sure.” He said quietly and stepped aside. He was surprised Jethro had not simply barged in.  
  
Gibbs walked in and was surprised to see some boxes. He turned to Tony and there was awkward silence for a time. “Congratulations on your promotion. You deserve it.” He said with a slight smile.  
  
Tony snorted slightly as he walked to his kitchen. “Coffee?”  
  
“Tony, I mean it. It was only a matter of time before you received your own team.” Jethro had a small smile on his face. “I’m just glad it wasn’t Rota.”  
  
“I would have thought you couldn’t wait to get rid of me.” Tony answered with a bitter tone.  
  
Gibbs looked angry and walked up to his former second in command. “Damn it, Tony!” He took a deep breath, trying to get his emotions in check. Tony was shocked to see Gibbs so unnerved. “I am so sorry I was such a bastard.”  
  
Tony sighed. “You keep apologizing. What about Rule Number six?”  
  
“I violate the rule when it is really important.”  
  
Tony rolled his eyes. “So now I’m important?” He walked back into the TV area, to get a bit of distance from Gibbs. “I don’t understand you.”  
  
“I am a bastard.”  
  
“So you keep saying. It’s a shock you’ve been divorced three times, Gibbs.” His bitter tone dissipated quickly. He just felt exhausted all of a sudden. He sat down heavily on his plush couch. “I don’t get you.” Tony added, unable to look Gibbs.  
  
Gibbs took a chance and sat down on the couch next to him. “I’m an idiot, Tony. I screwed up badly. For the first time in years, I found someone whom I made a connection with and I threw it away. There is no one I would rather have on my six, Agent Dinozzo. Not Franks, not Stan, and not Jenny. You are deserving of your own team.” He paused. “I was screwed up in the head for a time and while I was working through that I managed to throw away one of the relationships in my life that means the most to me.”  
  
“What do you mean by that?” Tony asked softly as his heart beat rapidly.  
  
“Tony, from the first time I met you in Baltimore…I felt…I mean…” Gibbs stumbled upon his words, not sure he could convey his true feelings.  
  
“Gibbs?” Jethro looked at Tony’s hazel eyes and saw confusion and some pain, he knew he needed to make this right.  
  
Gibbs gently grabbed Tony’s hand. “I love you, Tony. I have for years. I don’t deserve another chance, but I hope you can give me one.”  
  
Tony looked down at his hand. The warmth of Gibbs against his was soothing. He bit his lip as he looked away. “I’m not sure what to say.” He whispered.  
  
“I don’t know if you feel the same about me, but I wanted you to hear it. I...we...so many people have let you down, Tony. But I do love you.”  
  
Tony slowly slid his hand away as he stood. It was amazing how all of sudden he felt cold. He stood by his window and wrapped his arms around himself. He wanted to lose himself in the warmth of Gibbs, but could he forgive him? After some time he spoke, although he couldn’t face him. “I’ve loved you for so long.” He said softly. “But I thought something was wrong with me. How could I love someone who treats me the way you did?” The pain was evident in Tony’s voice as he turned to face the older man. “How, Jethro?” His eyes watered at the question.  
  
Gibbs heart was breaking as he walked over to Tony. “I know you’re scared. I know I have to earn back your trust. But…could we try?”  
  
Tony took some deep breaths as he looked down. Gibbs reached out for his hand and clasped his in Tony’s. It felt so right; but, he was terrified. “I’m not the same person I was before.” Tony responded softly. After the situation he had endured, he was more guarded; less carefree than he was. But, Tony was ready to move on. He wanted to let go of the tension...the hurt...the self-doubt...he wanted a new beginning. The one thing he wanted for so long was within his grasp. Was it real? Could it be?  
  
Jethro sensed his hesitation. He understood it. He wanted to wipe away all Tony's fear and insecurities. “Could we maybe start with a nice dinner?” Gibbs asked tentatively.  
  
“Really?” Tony said a bit suspiciously as his eyes narrowed. “Like a date?”  
  
“I can do romance.” Gibbs said in a defensive tone, but it was light and playful.  
  
“We’ll see.” Tony answered. “Maybe we’ll begin with appetizers and a drink; less pressure and all that." He looked at Gibbs pointedly. "We’ll see how you woo.”  
  
“Woo?” Gibbs asked slowly, a mischievous grin to his face.  
  
Tony nodded. “Yes. I deserve to be wooed.”  
  
Gibbs laughed heartily. “Yes, Boss.” Jethro replied as he stepped forward and embraced Tony. The younger man sighed as he melted into Gibbs, burying his face in his neck. He finally felt at home.  
  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter to go!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support of this fic.

Tony had been back at the Navy Yard for two days. His schedule had been hectic. He had to pack his desk and move them to the floor below. He had been reading scores of files, trying to find the right makeup for his new team. It was an exciting prospect to be able to build a team from the ground up. These would be his people…his team. He already felt a sense of protection for them and he had not even narrowed down the search yet.   
  
As he glanced at his watch, he realized it was lunchtime. He grabbed his Sig and badge and placed a light coat on. Spring was in the air, but he still felt chilly more than not since his illness. He decided to grab a bite at the outdoor cart by the Yard.   
  
As he paid for his meal, he heard his name called. It was Abby. He had not seen McGee, Ziva, or Abby since he arrived back at the Yard. He turned around and saw the three of them sitting, eating lunch. He took a deep, steadying breath and walked towards him.  
  
The first moments were awkward to say the least. You could tell Abby wanted to hug him, but she showed surprising restraint.  
  
Tony stood at first and did notice the empty chair and after some time, sat down. He gazed at the three whom he used to consider close friends; he did not know where to start.  
  
“We are happy you are better, Tony.” Ziva began. “We were all worried.”  
  
“Thank you, Ziva.” He replied in a polite tone. The three could sense Tony’s unease with the situation.  
  
Abby’s eyes watered. “Tony, we are so sorry. We had no idea. I never meant to hurt you.” Her puppy dog eyes made Tony ache.   
  
“I know, Abbs.”  
  
McGee looked uncomfortable. “Tony…we are sorry. We never realized our comments and actions were so hurtful. You are a great agent. I-I didn't realize it how much until you weren't here. ”  
  
“And about the party, Tony…” Ziva added.  
  
Tony held his hand up. “Look…guys…I understand you are sorry. I get it. I've had a lot of time to think and I hope you have too.”  
  
“I miss you, Tony. Do you…do you think we can ever be friends again?” Abby asked and waited for a response with bated breath.   
  
“I hope so, Abby.” Tony sighed. “I thought of the group as family…you know? And it really hurt…all of it. It will take some time…” They could see how guarded he was being. It was so different than he used to be.  
  
Tony thought about his life’s journey: to the despair and loneliness of his youth and to his trials and tribulations of the last year. He was ready to start anew. He received a second chance and everyone deserved that in life.   
  
He held out his hand towards the group and smiled widely. “Hi, I’m Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo.”   
  
"Tim McGee." The youngest smiled and felt a weight lifted from him as he shook Tony's hand.  
  
"Ziva David." The ex-Mossad liaison grinned widely as she felt the warmth of Tony's hand in hers.  
  
"Tonyboy!" Abby squealed as she jumped from her seat and sat in Tony's lap. She placed her arms around his neck and held on for dear life as she buried her head in his neck. He felt her shaking as his arms embraced her. She murmured 'I'm sorry' a million times as he felt her tears against his skin.   
  
"It's okay, Abbs..." Tony softly responded as they held each other. He realized how much he missed her as well. "Everything will be alright." And for the first time in years, he believed it.   
  
*   
  
Tony and Gibbs stood just outside of MTAC looking down at the two MCRT teams. The three that had joined Tony were doing well. They gelled as a Unit quickly and worked well when needed with his former team. Both groups were off rotation for the weekend. Gibbs looked at Tony and smiled. “See you in a few?”  
  
“Yeah. Let me grab my things from my desk and I’ll meet you there.” The two walked down together and looked at their teams. “Have a good weekend.” Tony said as he and Gibbs walked towards the elevator.   
  
*  
  
When Tony pulled up to Gibbs’ placed he felt excited in anticipation of tonight. The two had many dates, but usually they went out to a restaurant or a movie. They were slowly getting to know each again on a different level. Tony was enjoying the leisurely pace of it. They had been dating for over a month now and as if Gibbs sensed his need to move slowly, they had not even kissed. They were working on building a new foundation based on honesty and trust.   
  
But Tony felt a charge in the air tonight as he pulled up to Gibbs’ house. The older man had promised to cook for them and he couldn’t wait.  
  
As Tony walked into the front door carrying a six pack, he followed the smell to the fireplace. “Steak, cowboy style…I love it.” He said as he placed the beer down. Jethro had set up the coffee table as their place to eat. He offered half a steak to his former Senior Agent and took the other half for himself. He placed some potatoes on their plates and cracked open two beers.  
  
“So, how’s the team?” Gibbs asked after taking a drag of beer. He has been careful in discussing Tony’s new team; he did not want to be an undue influence on how Tony shaped his own.  
  
“My Probie's a bit green, being straight out of FLETC and all. But, he’ll come along.” He smiled. “Perkins and Garcia are good agents; they work exceptionally hard.”  
  
“They follow you around like puppies.” Gibbs smirked.  
  
“Do you blame them?” Tony replied with sparkling eyes. “They have the best team leader ever!” He chuckled and ducked from the head slap that he knew was coming.   
  
They ate the rest of their meal in a comfortable silence. They were just enjoying each others company. As they cleaned up in the kitchen, Tony found himself gently pushed against the counter. The older man had him trapped. Tony smiled as he saw the feral look in Jethro’s eyes.   
  
“What can I do for you, Jethro?” Tony asked softly as he felt Gibbs’ hardness against his. He couldn’t help the groan that escaped as he closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the contact.  
  
“I’m going to kiss you.” Jethro said in a low, slightly forceful tone that had Tony panting. He waited for Tony to say something and when he didn’t, he leaned in and captured the younger man’s lips. The kiss was passionate and everything each had imagined for years.   
  
Tony had to pull back to catch his breath. He stared with awe at the man that he loved so greatly. “This seems like a dream.”  
  
“No…finally it’s not.” Gibbs placed his hand on Tony’s cheek. “It’s real, Tony.”  
  
“Jethro…” He whispered as his voice cracked as he leaned in again.  
  
“God…I love you so much, Tony.”  
  
“I love you too…”  
  
*   
  
Epilogue  
  
Tony hummed a tune as he brought cookies out of the oven. He wanted to make sure everything looked perfect. It was Christmas Eve and although his team had to work the next day, he was looking forward to a little Christmas cheer tonight. He already had time to run to the Yard to give Charlie his yearly chocolates.   
  
The doorbell rang and he walked towards the door, straightening out his reindeer ears perched on his head. He smiled widely when he opened the door to see his father.  
  
“Dad!” He said with enthusiasm as he saw his father and a valet behind him.   
  
"Junior." He said with a big smile and then turned to the man and said, “Place those over there, Richard. Thank you.” The valet entered the apartment and quickly placed numerous items under Tony’s tree.   
  
“You didn’t have to bring all that, Dad.” Tony said, blushing slightly as they shared a hug.  
  
“Hush, now. It’s a pleasure.” He looked around the place after Richard had departed. “The place is really looking good, Tonio.” He smiled as his son offered him a Christmas cocktail. “Although, I wish you would have taken that other place we had looked at.”  
  
“I couldn’t afford that one, Dad.” Tony said absently while he arranged the presents.   
  
“You know I could have paid for it. It had a doorman, son. It was safer.”  
  
“I carry a gun for a living!” Tony said in an exasperated tone. He couldn’t help but feel warmed by his father’s concern. “I work for a federal agency. I can’t lead by example if I live in a million dollar apartment.”  
  
“Okay…okay…” Senior held up his arms in mock surrender.  
  
Jethro chose that moment to walk into the apartment with his father in tow.   
  
“Jack!” Tony said in an excited tone as he rushed to hug the older gentleman. Jethro was amazed how close those two had gotten.  
  
“Hi there, Tony.” He said with a smile as he returned the hug.  
  
“Come on in.” He led the two in. “Jackson Gibbs, this is my father, Anthony Dinozzo Senior.”  
  
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Jackson.” Senior held out his hand.  
  
“You too.” He replied. “And please, call me Jack.”  
  
He turned to greet the other man. “Jethro.” Tony’s father extended his hand.  
  
“Sir.” The ex-marine replied with a nod as they shook. On his visits to DC, Jethro and Senior had some time to get to know each other. He was sincere, so the two were getting along.  
  
Tony looked so excited. “Okay, now that everyone is here, let’s eat!”  
  
*  
  
As they sat down at Tony’s kitchen table, the feast he had prepared looked absolutely divine. Before they began eating, Tony raised his glass and the others followed suit. “Last year at this time…” He couldn’t help but stop when his voice cracked with emotion as his eyes watered briefly. He took a deep breath and gained the strength to continue when he felt Jethro grasp his hand. “I want to say how thankful I am. I believe in second chances and I am so grateful.” He paused again to compose himself. “I love you all.” He looked at the three sitting at the table with him. “Merry Christmas!”  
  
THE END


End file.
